Kiss My Ass at Three O’Clock
A well dressed business man was walking down the street when a little kid covered in soot said to him respectfully, “Sir, can you tell me the time?” The portly man stopped, carefully unbuttoned his coat and jacket, removed a large watch from a vest pocket, looked at it and said, “It is a quarter [...]
Funny Jokes for Adults
Q. What do a Christmas tree and a priest have in common? A. Their balls are just for decoration. Sarcastic MySpace Motivational Poster Comments Q.What is the difference between ‘ooooooh’and ‘aaaaaaah’? A. About three inches. Sarcastic MySpace Motivational Poster Comments Q. How do you find a blind man in a nudist colony? A. It’s not [...]
An Old Man Proposes Marriage
An elderly widow and widower were dating for about five years. The man finally decided to ask her to marry. She immediately said “yes”. The next morning when he awoke, he couldn’t remember what her answer was! “Was she happy? I think so, wait, no, she looked at me funny…” After about an hour of [...]
Jokes for Adults
Q.Why is divorce so expensive? A. Because it’s worth it! Sarcastic MySpace Motivational Poster Comments Q. What is a Yankee? A. The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone. Sarcastic MySpace Motivational Poster Comments Q. What do Tupperware and a walrus have in common? A. They both like a tight seal.
The Day of the Big Sale
It was the day of the big sale. Rumours of the sale and some advertising in the local paper were the main reason for the long line that formed by 8:30 in the morning in front of the store. A small man pushed his way to the front of the line, only to be pushed [...]
Third Grade Kentucky Weenie Contest
Three third graders from Kentucky (an Irish kid, an Italian Kid and a Redneck kid) are on the play ground at recess. The Irish kid suggests that they play a new game. “Let’s see who has the largest weenie,” he says. “Okay.” They all agree. The Italian kid pulls down his zipper and whips it [...]
Origin of Indian Names
One day an Indian boy asked his father why they have such long names. The dad answers, “Well, son, whenever an Indian baby is born the father would go outside and name the baby after the first thing he sees…” Then, after a few moments of silent reflection, the father asks, “Why do you ask, [...]
Man Finds a Hair in His Burger
A man walks into a hamburger shop and orders a regular meal. Later, the waitress brings his meal to him. He takes a bite out of it, and notices there’s a small hair in the hamburger. He begins yelling frantically at the waitress, “Waitress, there’s a hair in my hamburger! I demand to see what [...]
Little Girl Wants Four Animals
A teacher asked her class, “What do you want out of life?” A little girl raised her hand and said, “All I want out of life is four little animals.” The teacher asked, “Really, and what four little animals would that be?” The little girl answered, “A Mink on my back, a Jaguar in the [...]
Reverend John Fluff
The Reverend John Fluff was the pastor of a small town in Ireland. One day he was walking down the high street, when he noticed a young lady from his congregation sitting in a pub drinking beer. The Reverend wasn’t happy. He walked through the open door of the pub and sat down next to [...]
