Man Finds a Hair in His Burger
A man walks into a hamburger shop and orders a regular meal. Later, the waitress brings his meal to him. He takes a bite out of it, and notices there’s a small hair in the hamburger. He begins yelling frantically at the waitress, “Waitress, there’s a hair in my hamburger! I demand to see what [...]
Little Girl Wants Four Animals
A teacher asked her class, “What do you want out of life?” A little girl raised her hand and said, “All I want out of life is four little animals.” The teacher asked, “Really, and what four little animals would that be?” The little girl answered, “A Mink on my back, a Jaguar in the [...]
Reverend John Fluff
The Reverend John Fluff was the pastor of a small town in Ireland. One day he was walking down the high street, when he noticed a young lady from his congregation sitting in a pub drinking beer. The Reverend wasn’t happy. He walked through the open door of the pub and sat down next to [...]
Old Man Prays at Western Wall
A female CNN journalist heard about a very old Jewish man who had been going to the Western Wall to pray, twice a day, everyday, for a long, long time. So she went to check it out. She went to the Wall and there he was, walking slowly up to the Holy site. She watched [...]
Squirrels in Houses of Worship
There were five Houses of Worship in a small Texas town: The Presbyterian Church, the Baptist Church, the Methodist Church, the Catholic Church and the Jewish Synagogue. Due to some seriously bad fires in the surrounding forests, each House of Worship found itself overrun with pesky squirrels. One day, the PRESBYTERIAN CHURCH called a meeting [...]
Golf Balls and Cheating Husband
A young couple gets married, and the groom asks his bride if he can have a dresser drawer of his own that she will never open. The bride agrees. After 30 years of marriage, she notices that his drawer has been left open. She peeks inside and sees 3 golf balls and $1,000. She confronts [...]
Train Set and Bad Language
A few days after Christmas, A mother was working in the kitchen listening to her son playing with his new electric train set in the living room. She heard the train stop and her son yell “All you sons of bitches who want to get off, get the hell off now, because this is the [...]
Diving Board Grants Three Wishes
There were these three guys. They had been walking for 3 days and were very tired. They found a hotel, rented a room and went to sleep. Then, this old guy comes in out of nowhere, and says there is a magic pool just outside their hotel room. He tells them “Ok, you must jump [...]
Irish Drinking Joke
John O’Reilly hoisted his beer and said, “Here’s to spending the rest of me life, between the legs of me wife!” That won him the top prize at the pub for the best toast of the night! He went home and told his wife, Mary, “I won the prize for the Best toast of the [...]
Old Woman Has No Enemies
At the end of the service, the Minister asked, “How many of you have forgiven your enemies?” 80% held up their hands. The Minister then repeated his question. All responded this time, except one small elderly Lady. “Mrs. Jones? Are you not willing to forgive your enemies?” “I don’t have any,” she replied, smiling sweetly. [...]
