Only Four Parachutes
One night, a Delta twin-engine puddle jumper was flying somewhere above New Jersey. There were five people on board: the pilot, Michael Jordan, Bill Gates, the Dali Lama, and a hippie. Suddenly, an illegal oxygen generator exploded loudly in the luggage compartment, and the passenger cabin began to fill with smoke. The cockpit door opened, [...]
World Records for Midgets
One day three midgets decided they wanted to be in the record books. The first one says “I have pretty short arms”, so he goes and succeeds. The second one says “I have pretty short legs,” so he goes and succeeds. The third one says “I have a very small penis,” and when he comes [...]
Sick Man Visits the Doctor
A man hasn’t been feeling well, so he goes to his doctor for a complete check-up. Afterward, the doctor comes out with the results. “I’m afraid I have some very bad news,” the doctor says. “You’re dying, and you don’t have much time left.” “Oh, that’s terrible!” says the man. “How long have I got?” [...]
Redneck MySpace Comments
So once again that damnable bastard of a Blakk Frogg has pissed into the wind and ruined another pair of shoes… and at the same time created a new Redneck MySpace Comments site. Can you blame him? Some of the shit Rednecks do would make a damn DEAD man laugh! Free Redneck MySpace Comments Free [...]
Applying for a Job
A man went to apply for a job. After filling out the application, he waited anxiously for the outcome. The employer read all his credentials and said, “We have an opening for people like you.” “Oh, great,” he said, “What is it?” “It’s called the door!” Americas Best MySpace Attitude Comments
Tasteless Michael Jackson Joke
Michael Jackson is walking out from the operating room after his wife gave birth to their son. Michael says “Hey Doc how long till we can have sex?” The Doctor says, “At least wait till he is walking, Michael!!” Americas Best MySpace Attitude Comments
Junior Got His Driver License
Junior had just received his brand new drivers license. To celebrate, the whole family trooped out to the driveway and climbed into the car for his inaugural drive. Dad immediately headed to the back seat, directly behind the newly minted driver. “I’ll bet you’re back there to get a change of scenery after all those [...]
Adult Sex Jokes
Q. What’s the difference between a boyfriend and a husband? A. 45 minutes. Sarcastic MySpace Motivational Poster Comments Q. Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact? A. Breasts don’t have eyes. Sarcastic MySpace Motivational Poster Comments Q. What is the difference between medium and rare? A: Six inches is medium, eight inches [...]
Please Paint the Porch
A hobo comes up to the front door of a neat looking farmhouse and raps gently on the door. When the farm owner answers, the hobo asks him, “Please, sir, could you give me something to eat? I haven’t had a good meal in several days.” The owner says, “I have made a fortune in [...]
Sex Jokes for Adults
Q. How do you circumcise a hillbilly? A. Kick his sister in the jaw. Sarcastic MySpace Motivational Poster Comments Q. What’s the difference between purple and pink? A. The grip. Q. What’s the difference between a girlfriend and a wife? A. 45 pounds. Sarcastic MySpace Motivational Poster Comments
