Hat Wearing Moron
Ever go to a sporting event, concert or just anywhere outdoors and think, “Man oh man do I wish I had something to keep the sun out of my eyes…” and totally forget that you have a HAT on your head?
If so, then you and this moron below have something in common: You’re both doing your part to ruin the gene pool!
iPod Etiquette Lessons
With so many people listing to iPods or other devices that make use of headphones it comes as no surprise to Blakk Frogg that a few people need reminders about things they ought not do while enjoying music (or the soundtrack from their favorite porno) through their headphones.
Lesson #1 – Stop screaming, you jackass! You may not have the ability to hear anything, including yourself, over the music but we can hear you just fine!
Lesson #2 – Stop singing along, you moron! You cannot POSSIBLY hear yourself singing when you have the volume cranked up to 100 while using headphones but we surely can!
Lesson #3 – Turn the damn volume down, you deaf bastard! Listening to music that loud destroys your hearing and means next time you’ll need to turn it up even louder! Oh, and by the way: Nobody but YOU enjoys that crap you listen to!
Lesson #4 – Headphones may stop you from hearing your own farts but the rest of us CAN hear them, ya’ no class gas bag!
Things That Leave Me Speechless
Few things in this world can silence Blakk Frogg but every once in a while he gazes upon a sight that takes his breath away and makes him question the very reasoning why he has not already blown his brains out.
These two circus freaks drove Blakk Frogg to that point.
Dirty Pants in Walmart Trash Can
Well, of all the places for a fecal accident to take place, the poor fellow who crapped himself at Walmart, bought new pants, changed in the restroom, and discarded his shitty pants in the trash can… could have had a worse day by crapping himself during a tour of an art museum.
On second thought, if he crapped himself and hung the poop-stained drawers on the wall he could call it ‘modern art’ and possibly even sell his masterpiece for a ridiculous amount of money to an unsuspecting collector who adored the fact that he got to meet the artist standing half naked in front of the artwork. “Oh how marvelous! Such conviction!”
Three Shakes Means You’re Playing With It
Most guys know the following saying: “Shake it more then twice and you’re playing with it!”
Well, apparently not ALL guys live by that saying… and some of the more disgusting ones flaunt their non-belief in public. Gross!
Synthesizers USED to Require Skill
A long, long time ago music that sounded ‘really cool’ and ‘trippy’ came from weirdos that knew how to use advanced electronic devices that had a million buttons, half a million dials, some odd-shaped knobs, and a whooooooole lot of keys. We called those devices ‘synthesizers’ and they looked a bit like the following:
THOSE musicians didn’t HAVE no stinkin’ preset beats, purchased drum tracks, commercially available voice overs, etc. They had to actually know what the hell they were doing and make it all up from scratch!
Alzheimers & Diapers — How Parents Get Revenge
For all those nasty, stinky, smelly, foul, wretched, level 5 hazmat emergency diaper loads of shit & piss you blessed you parents with as a baby… your parents will return to you when they get older and develop advanced alzheimers.
Photo on Her Nightstand Scares Him
After a long night of making love, the guy notices a photo of another man on the woman’s nightstand by the bed. He begins to worry.
“Is this your husband?” he nervously asks.
“No, silly,” she replies, snuggling up to him.
“Your boyfriend, then?” he continues.
“No, not at all,” she says, nibbling away at his ear.
“Is it your dad or your brother?” he inquires, hoping to be reassured.
“No, no, no! You are so hot when you’re jealous!”she answers.
“Well, who in the hell is he, then?” he demands.
She whispers in his ear “That’s me before the surgery.”
Maturity… Even Old People Lack It!
Whoever said getting older means losing all your opportunities to act irresponsible (aka: immature) needs to have their head examined… with a baseball bat. Getting older does NOT mean a person has to give up the right to act like an immature, childish prankster!
How to Look Like a Male Fashion Model
Although Blakk Frogg has no desire to look like a trendy jackass, many guys in this world do… so Blakk Frogg would like to give you a helpful hint if you want to look fashionable, trendy, sexy and (rico) suave: “Act like you just shit your pants.”
