MySpace Comments & Jokes

Dog Clings to Redneck’s Pickup Truck

Blakk Frogg — Sat, 06 Mar 2010 14:22:06 +0000

So the other day while standing in line at Wal-Mart I overheard an older lady telling the cashier, who didn’t really appear to pay much attention to the woman, that she saw a man driving a pickup truck down the interstate… with a dog hanging on to the tailgate for dear life.

I thought to myself, “Oh boy. Another weirdo at Wal-Mart.”

The woman continued on with her story despite the cashier’s total lack of response. She said, “If that man hadn’t been driving that pickup so fast in the other direction she’d have turned around and have tried to stop him. And save that poor, poor animal. It’s a shame what people do these days.”

And with those words, the old woman gathered her three bags and walked off.

Probably just a crazy old woman looking for some conversation, right? Ha! Not hardly!

A few weeks later my neighbor Jim stops me by the mailbox and tells me he saw the darn funniest thing he’s ever seen in his life so I ask him what he saw.

Jim takes out his phone and shows me this:

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Apparently Jim waited for the owner of the vehicle to come out of the store, ‘cuz retired people have time to wait around in Bass Pro Shop parking lots, and talked to the owner of the truck, a local taxidermist with a great sense of humor.

And it’s not a dog, it’s a coyote.

Bumper Stickers for the US Military

Blakk Frogg — Thu, 04 Feb 2010 13:03:55 +0000

“Except For Ending Slavery, Fascism, Nazism and Communism, WAR has Never Solved Anything.”

“U.S. Marines - Certified Counselors to the 72 Virgins Dating Club.”

“Water-boarding is out so kill them all!”

“Interrogators can’t water-board dead guys”

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“U.S. Marines - Travel Agents To Allah”

“Stop Global Whining”

“When In Doubt, Empty The Magazine”

“Navy seals - When It Absolutely, Positively Has To Be Destroyed Overnight”

“Death Smiles At Everyone - Delta Force Smile Back”

“Army Sniper - You can run, but you’ll just die tired!”

“What Do I Feel When I Kill A Terrorist? A Little Recoil”

“Marines - Providing Enemies of America an Opportunity To Die For their Country Since 1775″

“Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Anyone Who Threatens It”

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“Happiness Is A Belt-Fed Weapon”

“It’s God’s Job to Forgive Bin Laden - It’s Our Job To Arrange The Meeting”

“Artillery Brings Dignity to What Would Otherwise Be Just A Vulgar Brawl”

“One Shot, Twelve Kills - U.S. Naval Gun Fire Support”

“Do Draft-Dodgers Have Reunions? If So, What Do They Talk About?”

“My Kid Fought In Iraq So Your Kid Can Party In College”

“Machine Gunners - Accuracy By Volume”

“A Dead Enemy Is A Peaceful Enemy - Blessed Be The Peacemakers”

“If You Can Read This, Thank A Teacher. If You Can Read It In English, Thank A Veteran”

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2009’s Most Popular Dirty-Minded Postings…

Blakk Frogg — Sat, 16 Jan 2010 21:32:18 +0000

2009 has come and gone just as all the years before it and at various times throughout 2009 everyone laughed, cried, held their breath at times, panicked a bit, flew off the handle a few dozen times, and maybe some of you lucky bastards even got laid a few times. In honor of last year’s timely demise, Blakk Frogg will now reveal the most popular Blakk Frogg Joke Blog Postings for the Filthy-Minded Masses. Enjoy!

Well we hope you enjoyed 2009’s most popular perversions and will continue to tune into Da’ Blakk Frogg Joke Blog in 2010… ‘cuz we promise to keep posting stuff you will most likely deny ever reading!

Oh, and before we go, you really should Click Here to See Me Naked. Ha ha…

Brand Name Condoms

Blakk Frogg — Fri, 08 Jan 2010 08:37:07 +0000

Nike Condoms: Just do it.

Toyota Condoms: Oh what a feeling.

Diet Pepsi Condoms: You got the right one, baby.

Pringles Condoms: Once you pop, you can’t stop.

Mentos Condoms: The freshmaker.

Flinstones Vitamins Condom Pack: Ten million strong and growing.

Secret Condoms: Strong enough for a man, but ph balanced for a woman.

Macintosh Condoms: It does more, it costs less, it’s that simple.

Ford Condoms: The best never rest.

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Chevy Condoms: Like a Rock.

Dial Condoms: Aren’t you glad you use it? Don’t you wish everybody did?

New York Lotto Condoms: Cause hey — you never know.

Avis Condoms: Trying harder than ever.

EverReady Condoms: Keeps going and going…

KFC Condoms: Finger-Licking Good.

Coca Cola Condoms: Always the Real Thing.

Lays Condoms: Betcha can’t have just one.

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The Fastest Thing You Can Think Of

Blakk Frogg — Thu, 07 Jan 2010 08:37:07 +0000

An office manager at Wal-Mart was given the task of Hiring an individual to fill a job opening. After sorting Through a stack of resumes he found four people who were equally Qualified.

He decided to call the four in and ask them only one Question. Their answer would determine which of them would get The job.

The day came and as the four sat around the conference Room table.

The interviewer asked, ‘What is the fastest thing you Know of?’

Acknowledging the first man on his right, the man Replied, ‘A THOUGHT.’ It just pops into your head. There’s no warning that it’s on the way; it’s just there. A thought is the fastest thing I know of.’

‘That’s very good!’ replied the interviewer. ‘And now You sir?’ He asked the second man.

Hmm.! … Let me see. A blink! It comes and goes and You don’t know that it ever happened. A BLINK is the fastest thing I know of.

Excellent!’ said the interviewer. ‘The blink of an Eye, that’s a very popular clich

Jewish Conspiracy: Buy a Tie

Blakk Frogg — Wed, 06 Jan 2010 08:37:07 +0000

A fleeing al Qaeda guerilla, desperate for water, was plodding through
the desert when he saw something far off in the distance. Hoping to find
water, he walked toward the object, only to find a little old Jewish man
at a small stand selling neckties.

The Arab asked, “Do you have any water?”

The Jewish man replied, “I have no water. Would you like to buy a
tie? They are only $5.”

The Arab shouted, “Idiot Jew! Israel should not exist! I do not need an
overpriced tie. I need water! I should kill you, but I must find water
first.”

“OK ,” said the old Jew, “it does not matter that you do not want to buy
a tie and that you hate me. I will show you that I am a bigger person.
If you continue over that hill to the east for about two miles, you will
find a lovely restaurant. It has all the water you need. Shalom.”

Muttering, the Arab staggered away over the hill.

Several hours later he staggered back, near collapse. “Your brother
won’t let me in without a tie.”

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Husband Looks Angry During Sex

Blakk Frogg — Tue, 05 Jan 2010 08:37:07 +0000

A woman went to her shrink because she was having severe problems with her sex life. The psychiatrist asked her many questions but did not seem to be getting a clear picture of her problems. Finally he asked, “Do you ever watch your husband’s face while you are having sex?”

“Well, yes, I actually did once.”

“And how did your husband look?”

“Angry, very angry.”

At this point the psychiatrist felt that he was really getting somewhere and he said, “Well that’s very interesting, we must look into this further.

“Now tell me, you say that you have only seen your husband’s face once during sex; that seems somewhat unusual. How did it occur that you saw his face that time?”

“He was looking through the window at us!”

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Goes Blind When He Puts ‘It’ In

Blakk Frogg — Mon, 04 Jan 2010 08:37:07 +0000

A sex therapist was doing research at the local college when one of the male volunteers told him, “When I get ‘it’ in part way, my vision blurs. And when I get ‘it’ all the way in, I can’t see a thing.”

“Hmmm… that’s an interesting optical reaction to sex,” said the researcher.

“Would you mind if I had a look at it?”

So the volunteer stuck out his tongue!

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Gifts for Their Teacher

Blakk Frogg — Sun, 03 Jan 2010 08:37:07 +0000

It was the last day of school, and all the students were bringing presents for their teacher. A florist’s daughter came up and gave her teacher a box.

The teacher said, I’ll bet these are flowers!? The girl replied, “How did you know?”

“Just a lucky guess,” she said.

Next, a boy whose family owned a candy store came up and gave the teacher a box. She said that she knew it was candy. When the boy asked how she knew, she again said, “Just a lucky guess.”

Finally, a boy whose father owned a liquor store came up and gave the teacher a box, but one of the box’s corners was damp from a leak. The teacher asked the boy if it was wine.

The boy said, “No.”

She touched the leak and put it to her tongue and asked if it was champagne.

The boy again said no.

Finally, she gave up and asked him what was in the box.

He said happily, “A puppy!”

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Rules of Bedroom Golf

Blakk Frogg — Sat, 02 Jan 2010 08:37:07 +0000

Each player shall furnish his own equipment for play, normally one club and two balls.

Play on course must be approved by the owner of the hole.

Unlike outdoor golf, the object is to get the club in the hole and keep the balls out.

For most effective play, the club should have a firm shaft. Course owners are permitted to check shaft stiffness before play begins.

Course owners reserve the right to restrict club length to avoid damage to the hole.

Object of the game is to take as many strokes as necessary until the owner is satisfied play is complete. Failure to do so may result in being denied permission to play again.

It is considered bad form to begin playing the hole immediately upon arrival. Experienced players will normally take time to admire the entire course, paying special attention to well formed mounds and bunkers.

Players are cautioned not to mention other courses they have played or are currently playing to the owner of the course being played. Upset owners have been known to damage a players equipment for this reason.

Players are encouraged to have proper rain gear, just in case.

Players should not assume that the course is in shape to play at all times. Players may be embarrassed if they find the course temporarily under repair. Players are advised to be extremely tactful in this situation. More advanced players will find alternate means of play when this is the case.

Players should assume their match has been properly scheduled particularly when playing a new course for the 1st time. Previous players have been known to become irate if they discover someone else is playing what they considered a private course.

The owner of the course is responsible for the pruning of any bushes, which may reduce the visibility of the hole.

Players are strongly advised to get the owners permission before attempting to play the backside.

Slow play is encouraged, however, players should be prepared to proceed at a quicker pace at the owners request.

It is considered an outstanding performance, time permitting, to play the same hole several times in one match.

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