Archive for category Drinking
Rules for Drunk Dialing
Posted by Blakk Frogg in Adult Humor, Alcohol, Drinking, Humor, Sarcastic on February 9, 2012
Consumption of alcohol can often lead to hours and hours of phone fun known to most of us lushes as ‘drunk dialing’. For your convenience we will now post a list of rules and guidelines one ought to follow while drunk dialing.
1. Only drunk dial when you are drunk. Everything else is false advertisement.
2. It is okay to call someone 27 times in one night. If you don’t remember it, it didn’t happen.
3. If you are going to drunk dial a family member, say something nice. Ex. “Mom, I’m in McDonald’s and they’re playing our song. I love you.”
4. Dirty talk while drunk dialing is always preferred. Who doesn’t want to hear your best raspy, phone sex voice at 3 in the A.M. asking to bend them over something??
5. Voice mails are always better. This way your friend can let their friends have fun at your expense for days, even weeks to come.
6. Drunk texting is alright… if you are prepared to read what you wrote the next day when you are sober.
7. It is definitely a good idea to call all of your exes and remind them that you were the best lover they’ve ever had and everything they know, they learned from you. This way you can sleep well at night.
8. You can also call this same ex and let him/her know, that you know that he/she still loves you. Then explain to him/her that “I would still love me too!”
9. If you are a frequent dialer, never get mad if someone dials you. Be happy they thought of you in this special time.
10. It is always a good idea to sing on someone’s answering machine or voice mail. Especially a show tune.
Americas Best MySpace Picture Comments11. Drunk dialing should be fun and light hearted or dirty and sex crazed… never angry.
12. Most likely you will never drunk dial your best friends. They are usually the ones taking your phone away and reminding you that “you have a problem”.
13. If you deleted a number sober, it was probably for a good reason. Do not try to retrieve this number. Nothing good can come from it.
14. Always call someone you know. Finding random numbers in phone books is bad and usually leads to angry dialing.
15. If your cell phone dies, remember everything happens for a reason. Never borrow a friend’s phone to do your dialing.
16. Drunk dialing to a foreign country is usually too costly to be a good idea. But, if you really feel like if you don’t call this person you’ll just die, break rule 15 and use a friend’s phone.
17. Drunk dialing may lead to drunk muffin stuffin’… be prepared.
18. When dialing remember that “hanging out” at 3 in the a.m. usually doesn’t involve cards it’s probably going to be more like cheap lube and handcuffs. So be prepared when you really do want to play X-box when your drunk… “you want me to do what with your box? Play with it?”
19. Don’t drunk dial in the pool, tub, or rainstorm. It only ends up with you blow drying your phone when your far too drunk to be using electronics and you won’t be able to drunk dial anymore that night.
20. Never, I repeat, never drunk dial your boss, preacher, grandpa, or friend’s parents. If you are that hard up to call someone, there is an 800 number on Budweiser boxes.
We hope this list of drunk dialing rules will help you avoid any social missteps during your next round of drunk dialing!
Sarcastic MySpace Comments
if it ain’t sarcastic, it SUCKS!
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Blakk Frogg loves drunk dialing and Funny Alcohol Pictures
Wife Makes Hubby Happy and Sad at Same Time
Posted by Blakk Frogg in Adult Humor, Alcohol, Drinking, Funny Jokes, Humor, Jokes, Sex Joke on February 8, 2012
A husband and wife were sharing a bottle of wine when the husband said, “I bet you can’t tell me something to make me happy and sad at the same time.”
The wife thought for a few moments, then said, “Your pecker is bigger than your brother’s …”
The Alcoholic Alphabet
Posted by Blakk Frogg in Alcohol, Beer, Drinking, Humor on September 20, 2009
Blakk Frogg received a version of the ’alcoholic alphabet’ in an email earlier today and found it a little too…. bland. Therefore he added a few things quickly and re-posted it here for your reading pleasure. Enjoy!
A – Alcohol: The key to surviving college, office holiday parties, weddings/funerals of relatives on the other side of your family and to some extent family reunions
B – Beer: Considered the most disgusting alcohol of all by many, but great for chugging and admit it, folks: the taste DOES grow on you after your first funnel
C – Class: What you’re supposed to get up and go to after a Thursday night party and also the thing you no longer have once the fifth shot of Jose Cuervo kicks in
D – Dancing: A favorite pasttime of almost every drunk; usually looks pathetic and involves excessive spin moves, twirls, arm flailing and erratic head jerking motions
E – Emergency: The keg has run dry and you have no one over 21 in your drinking party OR you live in a state where they do not sell alcohol on Sundays
F – Fucked Up: Signified by leaning over a toilet or small shrub puking your guts out and crying to the Heavens to make the world stop rotating so damned fast
G – Games: Anything that involves cards, dice, chugging beers and making fun of other people because they happen to puke… before you do
H – Hangover: Reminds you of how great last night was, how much you drank last night, and why you have only a handful of loose change left in your pocket despite having cashed your paycheck yesterday afternoon
I – Idiot: The guy that spilled his beer on you and everyone else at the party and tried to wash his hands in the fish tank
J – Jail: Where you’ll end up after trying to use a fake ID that expired two years ago or stagger home through the back parking lot of the local police station
K – Kissing: What you’ll do to anything that moves after 15 beers… including the floor if not careful
L – Lord: Person you beg to get you out of every situation involving alcohol and the Person you ask not to let you hook up with anything TOO ugly after drinking five shots of Jager and 6 Irish Car Bombs in under an hour
M – Money: That which you no longer have due to too much partying and paying your friends not to tell anyone about sasquatch you hooked up last Friday night
N – Not Again!: What you scream when you wake up beside someone you don’t know, hope you didn’t sleep with, and hope to God you can avoid waking up while sneaking out of his or house/apartment/room
O – Ouch: What you say while falling on your ass when you’re trying to walk home OR what you say when a friend announces he/she will go home with a hideous companion
P – Pee: What you have to do every five minutes while you’re drinking beer and also the thing that bonds and unites all females at the party and causes them to take group field trips to the rest room all the time
Q – Quilt: What you puked on last night in bed and have to clean in the morning… because you hooked up with a lard ass whose also drunken ass didn’t get out of the way so you could make it to the bathroom in time. Stupid lard ass shoulda’ moved
R – Reform: What you promise God you will do while you’re puking in the toilet or inthe back of your friend’s new car because… the window didn’t go down in time. Stupid window
S – Sex: What you TRIED to do with that person you met last night while you were drunk… but passed out face down in her panties (or his boxers) instead
T – Ten: The number of beers it takes ME to realize there are only two beers left in the 12-pack and that I need to go to the store ASAP
U – Underage: Most of the drinking population at college bars
V – Vodka: The mother of all alcohols because it mixes with pretty much ANYthing and allows inexperienced drinkers to get drunk in less than an hour
W – Worm: The part of Tequila that reminds you of Biology class tomorrow
X – X-Ray: How they can see into your belly before they force a chalk milkshake down your throat and pump your stomach
Y – Yourself: The one who drinks WAY TOO MUCH every weekend and STILL denies that you have ever done all those horrible things that your friend so kindly recorded with his new cellphone camera… Stupid cellphone cameras
Z – Zoned out: What you will be after drinking for 12 hours straight and not eating
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Most Popular MySpace Comments — May 2009
Posted by Blakk Frogg in Adult Humor, Alcohol, Beer, Blakk Frogg Speaks, Drinking, Funny Pictures, Humor, MySpace Comments, Sarcastic on June 3, 2009
If you came here looking for silly, sexy, sarcastic and sometimes sick pictures and graphics to use on blogs, profiles, bulletin boards and other places, well, you came on the right day ‘cuz today we post the most popular pictures and graphics on AmericasBestMySpace.Com for the month of May 2009!
A brand of beer known as Sierra Nevada captured the heart, mind, body and soul of Blakk Frogg several years ago. For those of you old enough to drink, you ought to check out their line of beers — if you like good beer. Otherwise stick with your fruity drinks and cheap, moose piss beers.
Every guy that has ever pissed off his significant other knows the feelings shown in the picture above. Some OTHER guys may LIKE the idea of barbed wire in the bedroom, but we dare not discuss that on this site.
Drinking everyday does not make Blakk Frogg an alcoholic. Feeling like a burlap sack filled with bleeding buttholes because he DIDN’T drink that day might, though. lol.
Looks like a lot of people had beer on the brain last month. Guzzling a Heineken always sounds like a good idea. Guzzle-guzzle buurrrrrrrp!
Wow. Great way to finish out last month’s most popular picture comments — with a swift kick in the balls. Blakk Frogg cringes each time he sees this image.
Popular Americas Best MySpace Comments for May 2009
Posted by Blakk Frogg in Adult Humor, Adult MySpace Comments, Alcohol, Babes, Beer, Blakk Frogg Speaks, Drinking, Funny Pictures, Humor, MySpace Comments, Pretty Girls, Sarcastic on June 2, 2009
For several years www.AmericasBestMySpaceComments.com has consistently posted funny, sexy, gross and sometimes downright sarcastic pics for your enjoyment. The time has come around once more for that site to reveal its most popular pics… this time for the month of May 2009!
Have you ever found strange, unrecognizable and definitely melted plastic or rubber objects in a dryer before or after putting your clothes in? If so, let’s just say that some people (see above) like to use available dryers for intimate moments while waiting for their loads of laundry to finish. And, since one can never take too many precautions again STD’s, those shriveled up pieces of rubber/plastic may, in fact, come from discarded condoms.
* barf *
Summer means a lot more snakes out and about where Blakk Frogg lives. The above cartoon illustrates the proper way to use a fake snakebite as a means of getting ‘personal services’ from a really stupid park ranger. Take notes, campers! Take notes!
Yes, yes, yes and YES! Nothing beats a nice booty shakin’ from side to side, right to left, up and down and all around. Therefore, shake what ya’ mama gave ya’!
Seems as though people will never leave the rednecks alone or stop accusing them of acting like a bunch of dumb… rednecks. Damn. It happened again. 
The fifth most popular comment picture this month tells a definite truth: Somewhere sitting next to every hot girl is her current boyfriend who’s sick and tired of her crap and constantly dreaming of ways to dump her fine ass once he finds someone new. Sorry, ladies… but some guys value more than nice breasts, a pretty face, a slim waist, education, intelligence, personality, an insatiable sexual appetite, a desire to explore all areas of kama sutra, and the ability to pay your own bills and take care of yourself.
Hey, wait just a second… Blakk Frogg wants to rethink that last line. Seriously. He does.
Save Water by Drinking Beer
Posted by Blakk Frogg in Alcohol, Blakk Frogg Speaks, Drinking, Humor, MySpace Comments, Sarcastic on May 21, 2009
Now you would have to possess the IQ of a snail (no offense to any snails reading this….) to think that drinking beer will save water. Uh, hello? Last we checked, you could not MAKE beer w/o water. Come to think of it, beer’s main ingredient IS water!
Having said all that, we must possess the IQ of a snail ‘cuz we think drinking beer makes more sense than drinking water. 
Rogue Beer…. and Frogs
Posted by Blakk Frogg in Alcohol, Beer, Blakk Frogg Speaks, Drinking, MySpace Comments, Sarcastic on May 19, 2009
Some people say Blakk Frogg drinks too damn much. Phooey! Those people just don’t like the fact that Blakk Frogg drinks better beer than they do! Below you will see a fine example of a truly excellent brand of beer: Rogue Beer!
Dent in Grey Goose Bottle
Posted by Blakk Frogg in Alcohol, Beer, Blakk Frogg Speaks, Drinking, MySpace Comments on May 14, 2009
Copy the text below and insert on page to use the image
Blakk Frogg still remembers the night he drank from that bottle because of the massive hangover he had the very next morning. He feels certain the 12 pack of Corona mixed with the Grey Goose probably was not the brightest idea he ever had.
But then again not too many people would call Blakk Frogg bright, so…..
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Zombie Killing Ain’t a Crime
The Alcoholic Alphabet
Posted by Blakk Frogg in Adult Humor, Adult MySpace Comments, Alcohol, Beer, Blakk Frogg Speaks, Drinking, Gross, Humor, Jokes, Sarcastic on October 17, 2009
Blakk Frogg received a version of the ‘alcoholic alphabet’ in an email earlier today and found it a little too…. bland. Therefore he added a few things quickly and re-posted it here for your reading pleasure. Enjoy!
A – Alcohol: The key to surviving college, office holiday parties, weddings/funerals of relatives on the other side of your family and to some extent family reunions
B – Beer: Considered the most disgusting alcohol of all by many, but great for chugging and admit it, folks: the taste DOES grow on you after your first funnel
C – Class: What you’re supposed to get up and go to after a Thursday night party and also the thing you no longer have once the fifth shot of Jose Cuervo kicks in
Americas Best MySpace Drinking Comments
D – Dancing: A favorite pasttime of almost every drunk; usually looks pathetic and involves excessive spin moves, twirls, arm flailing and erratic head jerking motions
E – Emergency: The keg has run dry and you have no one over 21 in your drinking party OR you live in a state where they do not sell alcohol on Sundays
F – Fucked Up: Signified by leaning over a toilet or small shrub puking your guts out and crying to the Heavens to make the world stop rotating so damned fast
G – Games: Anything that involves cards, dice, chugging beers and making fun of other people because they happen to puke… before you do
Americas Best MySpace Drinking Comments
H – Hangover: Reminds you of how great last night was, how much you drank last night, and why you have only a handful of loose change left in your pocket despite having cashed your paycheck yesterday afternoon
I – Idiot: The guy that spilled his beer on you and everyone else at the party and tried to wash his hands in the fish tank
J – Jail: Where you’ll end up after trying to use a fake ID that expired two years ago or stagger home through the back parking lot of the local police station
K – Kissing: What you’ll do to anything that moves after 15 beers… including the floor if not careful
L – Lord: Person you beg to get you out of every situation involving alcohol and the Person you ask not to let you hook up with anything TOO ugly after drinking five shots of Jager
M – Money: That which you no longer have due to too much partying and paying your friends not to tell anyone about sasquatch you hooked up last Friday night
N – Not Again!: What you scream when you wake up beside someone you don’t know, hope you didn’t sleep with, and hope to God you can avoid waking up while sneaking out of his or house/apartment/room
Americas Best MySpace Drinking Comments
O – Ouch: What you say while falling on your ass when you’re trying to walk home OR what you say when a friend announces he/she will go home with a hideous companion
P – Pee: What you have to do every five minutes while you’re drinking beer and also the thing that bonds and unites all females at the party and causes them to take group field trips to the rest room all the time
Q – Quilt: What you puked on last night in bed and have to clean in the morning… because you hooked up with a lard ass whose also drunken ass didn’t get out of the way so you could make it to the bathroom in time. Stupid lard ass shoulda’ moved
R – Reform: What you promise God you will do while you’re puking in the toilet or inthe back of your friend’s new car because… the window didn’t go down in time. Stupid window
Americas Best MySpace Drinking Comments
S – Sex: What you TRIED to do with that person you met last night while you were drunk… but passed out face down in her panties (or his boxers) instead
T – Ten: The number of beers it takes ME to realize there are only two beers left in the 12-pack and that I need to go to the store ASAP
U – Underage: Most of the drinking population at college bars
V – Vodka: The mother of all alcohols because it mixes with pretty much ANYthing and allows inexperienced drinkers to get drunk in less than an hour
Americas Best MySpace Drinking Comments
W – Worm: The part of Tequila that reminds you of Biology class tomorrow
X – X-Ray: How they can see into your belly before they force a chalk milkshake down your throat and pump your stomach
Y – Yourself: The one who drinks WAY TOO MUCH every weekend and STILL denies that you have ever done all those horrible things that your friend so kindly recorded with his new cellphone camera… Stupid cellphone cameras
Americas Best MySpace Drinking Comments
Z – Zoned out: What you will be after drinking for 12 hours straight and not eating
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alcoholic alphabet, drinking humor, drunk humor
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