Alcohol
If Quality of My Life Goes Down…
Last night, my sister and I were sitting in the den and I said to her, ‘I never want to live in a vegetative state, dependent on some machine and fluids from a bottle to keep me alive. That would be no quality of life at all. If that ever happens, just pull the plug.’ [...]
Do Gas Additives Really Improve Gas Mileage?
So… Do gasoline additives really help make cars drive a bit further on a tank of gas? After some research we have determined that some do, and some don’t. We all want to know how we can stretch our gasoline budget just a little further, right? Of course we do! With gas prices clearly over [...]
Drunk Goes Home to His Angry Wife
Two buddies, George and Terry, are getting very drunk at a bar when suddenly Terry throws up all over himself. “Oh, no. Now Carolyn will kill me!” George says, “Don’t worry, pal. Just tuck a twenty in your breast pocket and tell Carolyn that someone threw up on you and gave you twenty dollars for [...]
Thinking About Your Ex
As we get older thoughts about our past ex-lovers almost always cross our minds and sometimes we find ourselves staring in the mirror at ourselves and asking, “Seriously? Why in the HELL did I ever date THAT bitch/bastard?!?!?” Then, like a bolt of lightning up our ass, we realize just how wasted we got for [...]
Thinking About Your Ex
As we get older thoughts about our past ex-lovers almost always cross our minds and sometimes we find ourselves staring in the mirror at ourselves and asking, “Seriously? Why in the HELL did I ever date THAT bitch/bastard?!?!?” Then, like a bolt of lightning up our ass, we realize just how wasted we got for [...]
How Do You Play ‘Who Am I?’
One Monday morning, Roy, the UPS man is driving the neighborhood on his usual route. As he approaches one of the homes he noticed that both cars were in the driveway. His wonder was cut short by Bob, the homeowner, coming out with a load of empty beer and liquor bottles. “Wow Bob, looks like [...]
Rules for Drunk Dialing
Consumption of alcohol can often lead to hours and hours of phone fun known to most of us lushes as ‘drunk dialing’. For your convenience we will now post a list of rules and guidelines one ought to follow while drunk dialing. 1. Only drunk dial when you are drunk. Everything else is false advertisement. [...]
Wife Makes Hubby Happy and Sad at Same Time
A husband and wife were sharing a bottle of wine when the husband said, “I bet you can’t tell me something to make me happy and sad at the same time.” The wife thought for a few moments, then said, “Your pecker is bigger than your brother’s …” Sarcastic MySpace Comments
Finish What You Start — Stress Relief
I am passing this on to you because it definitely worked for me today, and we all could probably use more calm in our lives. Some doctor on TV this morning said the way to achieve inner peace is to finish all the things you have started. So I looked around my house to see [...]
MySpaceSarcasm.Com…. Popular in ‘The Cool Crowd’
Stop staring at your sister’s droopy butt and pay attention! Below you will find the most popular pics on MySpaceSarcasm.Com at a time when gerbils mated and accidentally created moose dung. Now go get us some beer, you lazy freaks! cut-n-paste the code to use the image on blogs, profiles, comments.. and your mom’s forehead!Visit [...]
