Archive for May, 2010
Gay Male Flight Attendant
My flight was being served by an obviously gay flight attendant, who seemed to put everyone in a good mood as he served us food and drinks. As the plane prepared to descend, he came swishing down the aisle and told us that “Captain Marvey has asked me to announce that he’ll be landing the [...]
The REAL Story Behind Creation
In the beginning, God created the Heavens and the Earth and populated the Earth with broccoli, cauliflower and spinach, green and yellow and red vegetables of all kinds, so Man and Woman would live long and healthy lives. Then using God’s great gifts, Satan created Ben and Jerry’s Ice Cream and Krispy Creme Donuts. And [...]
Walking In On Your Parents
So little Johnny walks in on his parents…. Johnny is shocked, Mom is appalled and Dad’s just giggling a little bit figuring Johnny had to learn about it somehow or other. The next day Dad comes home from work and walks in on Johnny doing Grandma. The Dad ask, “What the hell is going on [...]
His Pickup Line Didn’t Work
While nursing a drink at a bar, a young woman was distressed to see a drunken, unkempt man sit down next to her. He turned to her with a sleazy, sly grin on his face and said, “Say, honey. . . I’d really like to get into those pants o’ yours.” “Thanks,” she shot back [...]
Hillbilly Saves a Woman’s Life
wo hillbillies walk into a Dairy Queen. While having a couple of Blizzards, they talk privately about their moonshine operation. Suddenly, a woman at a nearby table, eating a chicken sandwich, begins to cough. After a while, it becomes apparent that she is in real distress. One of the hillbillies looks at her and says, [...]
Why He Cheated on His Wife
The wife came home early and found her husband in their bedroom making love to a very attractive young woman. “You disrespectful pig!” she cried. “How dare you do this to me – a faithful wife, the mother of your children! I’m leaving you. I want a divorce!” And Paddy (for it was he) replied, [...]
New Computer Virus: C-Nile
I was just made aware of this horrible virus by someone who contracted it. Be afraid … be very afraid! A NEW VIRUS … just got this in from a reliable source. It seems that there is a new virus out there called the C-Nile Virus that even the most advanced programs from Norton or [...]
Would You Sleep With Brad Pitt?
A young boy went up to his father and asked him, “Dad, what is the difference between ‘potentially’ and ‘realistically’?” The father thought for a moment, then answered, “Go ask your mother if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars. Then ask your Sister if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for [...]
Pretty Girl Wants Her Tomatoes to Turn Red
A beautiful woman loved growing tomatoes, but couldn’t seem to get her tomatoes to turn red. One day, while taking a stroll, she came upon a gentleman neighbor who had the most beautiful garden full of huge red tomatoes. The woman asked the gentlemen, “What do you do to get your tomatoes so red?” The [...]
Most Important Person In History
One day at kindergarten a Teacher said to the class of 5-year-olds, “I’ll give $10 to the child who can tell me who was the most famous man who ever lived.” A little Irish boy put his hand up and said, “It was St. Patrick.” The Teacher said, “Sorry Sean, that’s not correct.” Then a [...]
