One night, a Delta twin-engine puddle jumper was flying somewhere above New Jersey. There were five people on board: the pilot, Michael Jordan, Bill Gates, the Dali Lama, and a hippie. Suddenly, an illegal oxygen generator exploded loudly in the luggage compartment, and the passenger cabin began to fill with smoke. The cockpit door opened, and the pilot burst into the compartment.

“Gentlemen,” he began, “I have good news and bad news. The bad news is that we’re about to crash in New Jersey. The good news is that there are four parachutes, and I have one of them!” With that, the pilot threw open the door and jumped from the plane.

Michael Jordan was on his feet in a flash. “Gentlemen,” he said, “I am the world’s greatest athlete. The world needs great athletes. I think the world’s greatest athlete should have a parachute!” With these words, he grabbed one of the remaining parachutes, and hurtled through the door and into the night.

Bill Gates rose and said, “Gentlemen, I am the world’s smartest man. The world needs smart men. I think the world’s smartest man should have a parachute, too.” He grabbed one, and out he jumped.

The Dali Lama and the hippie looked at one another. Finally, the Dali Lama spoke. “My son,” he said, “I have lived a satisfying life and have known the bliss of True Enlightenment. You have your life ahead of you; you take a parachute, and I will go down with the plane.”

The hippie smiled slowly and said, “Hey, don’t worry, pop. Mellow out…. The world’s smartest man just jumped out wearing my backpack.”

Americas Best MySpace Attitude Comments

One day three midgets decided they wanted to be in the record books.

The first one says “I have pretty short arms”, so he goes and succeeds.

The second one says “I have pretty short legs,” so he goes and succeeds.

The third one says “I have a very small penis,” and when he comes back he asks, “Who the hell is Leonardo DiCaprio?”

Americas Best MySpace Random Comments

A man hasn’t been feeling well, so he goes to his doctor for a complete check-up.

Afterward, the doctor comes out with the results. “I’m afraid I have some very bad news,” the doctor says. “You’re dying, and you don’t have much time left.”

“Oh, that’s terrible!” says the man. “How long have I got?”

“Ten,” the doctor says sadly.

“Ten?” the man asks. “Ten what? Months? Weeks? What?!”

The doctor interrupts, “Nine…”

Americas Best Funny, Sexy, F’ed Up Comment Pictures

So once again that damnable bastard of a Blakk Frogg has pissed into the wind and ruined another pair of shoes… and at the same time created a new Redneck MySpace Comments site. Can you blame him? Some of the shit Rednecks do would make a damn DEAD man laugh!

Free Redneck MySpace Comments

Free Redneck MySpace Comments

Free Redneck MySpace Comments

Plenty more Redneck MySpace Comments at where? Yo granpappy’s trailer!

No, you silly (ugly) goose. . . . More redneck myspace comments HERE.