Students were assigned to read 2 books, “Titanic” & “My Life” by Bill Clinton. One smartass student turned in the following book report, with the proposition that they were nearly identical stories! His cool professor gave him an A+ for this report:

Titanic: $29.99
Clinton: $29.99

Titanic: Over 3 hours to read
Clinton: Over 3 hours to read

Titanic: The story of Jack and Rose, their forbidden love, and subsequent catastrophe.
Clinton: The story of Bill and Monica, their forbidden love, and subsequent catastrophe.

Titanic: Jack is a starving artist.
Clinton: Bill is a bull**** artist.

Titanic: In one scene, Jack enjoys a good cigar.
Clinton: Ditto for Bill.

Titanic: During ordeal, Rose’s dress gets ruined.
Clinton: Ditto for Monica.

Titanic: Jack teaches Rose to spit.
Clinton: Let’s not go there.

Titanic: Rose gets to keep her jewelry.
Clinton: Monica’s forced to return her gifts.

Titanic: Rose remembers Jack for the rest of her life.
Clinton: Clinton doesn’t remember Jack.

Titanic: Rose goes down on a vessel full of seamen.
Clinton: Monica… ooh, let’s not go there, either.

Titanic: Jack surrenders to an icy death.
Clinton: Bill goes home to Hilary…basically the same thing!

==============

The jokes come fast and furious at Americas Best

A beautiful young blonde was so depressed over her failed Broadway acting career that she decided to end her life by throwing herself into the ocean. But just before she could throw herself from the docks, a handsome young sailor stopped her.

“You have so much to live for,” said the sailor. “Look, I’ m off to Europe tomorrow and I can stow you away on my ship. I’ll take care of you, bring you food every day, and keep you happy.”

With nothing to lose, combined with the fact that she had always wanted to go to Europe, the woman accepted. That night the sailor brought her aboard and hid her in a lifeboat. From then on, every night he would bring her three sandwiches and make love to her until dawn.

Three weeks later she was discovered by the captain during a routine inspection.

“What are you doing here?” asked the captain.

“I have an arrangement with one of the sailors,” she replied. “He brings me food and I get a free trip to Europe.”

“I see,” the captain says.

“Plus,” she adds coyly,  

A guy goes to a supermarket and notices a beautiful blonde who waves at him and says hello.

He’s rather taken back because he can’t figure out why he knows her, yet he knows he does so he walks up slowly and asks politely, “Do you know me?”

To which she casually replies, “I think you’re the father of one of my kids.”

Taken back by her remark, he thinks back to the only time he had ever been unfaithful to his wife and says, “My god. Are you the stripper from my bachelor party that I laid on the pool table with in front of all my buddies while your partner whipped me with wet celery?”

To which she replied, “No, I’m your son’s math teacher.”

============

Catch a great laugh at Simply Frogg, ya’ heard?

One afternoon a little girl returned from school and announced that her friend had told her where babies come from.

Amused, her mother replied: “Really, sweetie, why don’t you tell me all about it?”

The little girl explained, “Well… Okay… the Mommy and Daddy take off all of their clothes, and the Daddy’s thing sort of stands up, and then Mommy puts it in her mouth, and then it sort of explodes, and that’s how you get babies.”

Her Mom shook her head, leaned over to meet her eye to eye and said, “Oh, honey, that’s sweet, but that’s not how you get babies. That’s how you get jewelry.”

———-

Yep. Blakk Frogg definitley pissed off some folks with that joke……