Americas Best What?
Use these links to access all the jokes, pics, sarcasm and, um, other useless crap Blakk Frogg has posted on this site over the years.... ENJOY!
Use these links to access (much) older pages from this site... if you're some kinda' retarded archeologist. Loser. ;)
Blakk Frogg Wear?
a handy guide to understanding other bar patrons' words!
When having drinks at a bar you hear people using the same lines over and over again, yet you never fully understand what those people are REALLY saying. Well, thanks to some of Blakk Frogg's online acquaintances (Beer, Beer Drinker, and others), you will now have a better understanding of what people mean when they say things like.....
"You get this one, next round is on me." (We won't be here long enough to get another round.)
"I'll get this one, next one is on you." (Happy hour is about to end...drafts are now a dollar, but by the next round they'll be $4.50 a pop.)
"Hey, where is that friend of yours?" (I have no interest in talking to you except as a way to get your attractive friend into a compromising position.)
"Can I get a glass of white zinfandel." (female - I'm easy.)
"Can I get a glass of white zinfandel." (male - I'm gay.)
"Ever try a body shot?" (male to female - I am even willing to drink tequila if it means that I get to lick you.)
"Ever try a body shot?" (female to male - If this is how wild I am in the bar, imagine what I'll do to you on the ride home?)
"I don't feel well, let's go home." (female - You are paying more attention to your friends than me.)
"I don't feel well, let's go home." (male - I'm horny.)
"Who's got the next round?" (I haven't bought a round in almost 3 years, but I am an expert at diverting attention.)
"Excuse Me." (male to male - Get the hell out of the way.)
"Excuse Me." (male to female - I am going to grope you now.)
"Excuse Me." (female to male - Don't even think about groping me, just get the hell out of the way!)
"Excuse Me." (female to female - Move your fat ass. Who do you think you are anyway? You are not all that, missy, and don't think for one minute that you are. Coming in here dressing like a ho... Get your eyes off of my man, or I'll slap you, bitch, like the slut you are.)
"What do you have on tap?" (What's cheap?)
"Can I have a white Russian?" (male - I'm *reallygay.)
"Can I have a white Russian?" (female - I'm *reallyeasy.)
"That person looks really familiar." (Did I sleep with him/her?)
"Can I just get a glass of water?" (female - I'm annoying, but cute enough to get away with this.)
"I don't have my ID on me." (female - I'm 19.)
"I don't have my ID on me." (male - I don't have a license since I got pulled over and blew a 1.4 after my last visit here)
Her Hair Smells Nice Each Morning?
Every day, a male co-worker walks up very close to a woman at the coffee machine, inhales a big breath of air, and tells her that her hair smells nice.
After a week of this, she can't stand it anymore, takes her complaint to a supervisor in the personnel department and asks to file a sexual harassment grievance against him.
The Human Resources supervisor is puzzled and asks, ?"What's sexually threatening about a co-worker telling you your hair smells nice?"
The woman replies, "It's Keith, the midget."
Looking for other sources of wacky, sexy, crazy, funky, sarcastic and/or sadistically twisted MySpace Comments? Look no further! Use these to find what you're looking for!
Show your love and support of Blakk Frogg's web ventures by checking out the unusual stuff for your body at Da' Frogg Store and for those who just love to laugh, well, you need to check out Da' Blakk Frogg Joke Blog!
Wanna' Support Da' Frogg's Drinking Habit?
If you like this or any of his other sites, have a heart and send him a few pennies if you can. Why? Because the more beer money he has, the more web work he'll do!
Blakk Frogg has no shame in asking for handouts. Spare change, hundred dollar bills, whatever. It all spends the same to him during Happy Hour, bitches! C'ya!
- blakk frogg
- thanks for reading Volume 94 -