Americas Best What?
Use these links to access all the jokes, pics, sarcasm and, um, other useless crap Blakk Frogg has posted on this site over the years.... ENJOY!
Use these links to access (much) older pages from this site... if you're some kinda' retarded archeologist. Loser. ;)
Blakk Frogg Wear?
blakk frogg found the perfect biker dress shoe to go with those designer chaps!
Everyone knows that Blakk Frogg loves to get out on two wheels in pretty much any kind of weather. He also believes that everyone should, at one point in their life, experience the Freedom of the Open Road w/o the walls of a car around them.... This includes high class ladies, too!
Now get out there and RIDE, ladies! Ride like you broke wind! Er, no, that's not it.....
Legless Parrot Joke?
A guy is browsing in a pet shop and sees a parrot sitting on a little perch. It doesn't have any feet or legs. The guy says aloud, "Jeesh. I wonder what happened to this Parrot?"
The parrot says, "I was born this way. I'm a defective parrot."
"Holy shit," the guy replies. "You actually understood and answered me!"
"I got every word," says the parrot.” I happen to be a highly intelligent, thoroughly educated bird."
"Oh yeah?", the guy asks, "Then answer this -- how do you hang onto your perch without any feet?"
"Well," the parrot says, "this is very embarrassing but since you asked, I wrap my willie around this wooden bar like a little hook. You can't see it because of my feathers."
"Wow" says the guy, "you really can understand and speak English, can't you!?"
"Actually, I speak both Spanish and English and I can converse with reasonable competence on almost any topic: politics, religion, sports, physics, philosophy. I'm especially good at ornithology. You really ought to buy me. I'd be a great companion."
The guy looks at the $200 price tag.” Sorry, but I just can't afford that."
"Pssssssst" says the parrot, "I'm defective, so the truth is, nobody wants me cause I don't have any feet. You can probably get me for $20, just make the guy an offer!"
The guy offers $20 and walks out with the parrot. Weeks go by. The parrot is sensational. He has a great sense of humour, he's interesting, he's a great pal, he understands everything, he sympathizes, and he's insightful.
The guy is delighted. One day the guy comes home from work and the parrot goes "Psssssssssssst" and motions him over with one wing. "I don't know if I should tell you this or not, but it's about your wife and the postman."
"What are you talking about?" asks the guy.
"When the postman delivered today, your wife greeted him at the door in a sheer black nightie and kissed him passionately."
"WHAT???" the guy asks incredulously. "THEN what happened?"
"Well, then the postman came into the house and lifted up her nightie and began petting her all over" reported the parrot.
"My God!" he exclaims. "Then what?"
"Then he lifted up the nightie, got down on his knees and began to lick her all over, starting with her breasts and slowly going down..."
"WELL???" demands the frantic guy, "THEN WHAT HAPPENED?"
"Damned if I know. I got a hard-on and fell off my perch."
Jose and Carlos Panhandling for Money?
Jose and Carlos are panhandling (begging) on the street. Jose drives a Mercedes, lives in a mortgage free house and has a lot of money to spend.
Carlos only brings in 2 to 3 dollars a day. Carlos asks Jose how he can bring home a suitcase full of $10 bills every day.
Jose says, "Look at your sign. It says: I have no work, a wife and 6 kids to support."
Carlos looks at Jose's sign. It reads, "I only need another $10.00 to move back to Mexico."
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Show your love and support of Blakk Frogg's web ventures by checking out the unusual stuff for your body at Da' Frogg Store and for those who just love to laugh, well, you need to check out Da' Blakk Frogg Joke Blog!
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Blakk Frogg has no shame in asking for handouts. Spare change, hundred dollar bills, whatever. It all spends the same to him during Happy Hour, bitches! C'ya!
- blakk frogg
- thanks for reading Volume 89 -