Check out the cool gear
at the Blakk Frogg Store

      Americas Best What?

Use these links to access all the jokes, pics, sarcasm and, um, other useless crap Blakk Frogg has posted on this site over the years.... ENJOY!

Get ready for some good jokes, bad jokes, funny pictures, stupid pictures, relevant stories, ridiculous stories, idiotic news reports and other things you could find elsewhere... if you had nothing better to do with your time and could spend countless hours on the internet doing absolutely nothing useful.

      What Do Men Find Romantic?

Over the years Blakk Frogg has struggled to make sense of a thing called 'romance' and part of the reason, he feels, deals with the fact that no girl ever bothered to ask HIM what he found romantic. Instead, they followed advice from WOMEN in WOMEN'S magazines.

In one of Chris Rock's stand-up comedy routines he mentioned that women get too much damn advice about men from other women. Hmmmm... Blakk Frogg agrees with Chris Rock and believes the women giving that advice, even if they started off as men and had sex change operations to become women, need to shut the heck up and let MEN speak for themselves.

Therefore, please enjoy this article which features MEN talking about what MEN find romantic.

- begin article from http://lifestyle.msn.com/ -

1. Compliments. The quickest path to a man's heart is through his ego. "The other day, my lady told me she thought I was sexy. That was so cool! I'd never heard that before and it blew me away!" says a schoolteacher from Chicago. A political consultant from Washington, D.C. agrees: "The most romantic thing in the world is for you to be in awe of your man's skills -- whether it's his ability to make people laugh, perform at sports, fix things, or retrieve and display esoteric knowledge. Let him wow you," he says.

2. Dark chocolate. "Milk chocolate is for kids. Dark chocolate is for lovers," says Weinstein, who explains that dark chocolate has a higher percentage of cocoa, which means it has more phenylethylamine, a chemical that mimics the feeling you have when you're in love.

3. Hard-to-find gifts. Is his college sweatshirt so faded you can't decipher the name of his alma mater? Is he mourning the loss of a rare comic book that his mother threw away when he left home? Does he collect antique hood ornaments? Webb says that a gift that requires some effort is sure to be a big hit with your guy. "Men and women tend to express love differently. Women are usually the more nurturing types and tend to think of romance in terms of 'soft touches' while men express love in more practical ways," says Webb.

4. You, in his clothes. "Come to the dinner table wearing nothing but his button-down dress shirt. Now that's romance!" says an artist from Boston.

5. Funny movies. "A lot of people say that shared values or goals are what make a relationship work," says Weinstein. "But to me it's a shared sense of humor. If you like the Marx Brothers and your date doesn't, then it's simply not going to work," he says. "When you can find someone to laugh with, then you know you're really connecting."

6. A great memory. A picture really does paint a thousand words -- especially if it's of the two of you tanned and glowing at a beachside resort. "I went to my girlfriend's office and saw that she had a picture of us on vacation in Cancun," says a Seattle construction worker. "Little things like that just make you feel great."

7. An old-fashioned night on the town. A publisher in New York says that he isn't a huge romantic, but he admits that the rotating dance floor at the Rainbow Room makes him pretty gooey. "You're surrounded by well-dressed couples of all ages who know how to dance. This gives the effect of being in a romantic movie about old New York. Plus, it's a little disorienting with all that spinning around, which puts you in a dreamlike state," he says.

8. Tall buildings. Because in general guys just like big stuff. But also because taking in such a huge view can put life into perspective. "The tremendous view of the city with all its lights is not only awesome in its own right, but accentuates the essential smallness of the individual person," says a Chicago attorney. "Thus humbled, it is most comforting to realize, at that instant, you're not alone in the world."

9. Surprise intimacy. Whether it's an unexpected kiss or an afternoon jaunt to the bedroom, men swoon when women say "Come hither." "We like surprises -- like when you initiate sex at odd times, or rent a room in the middle of the day. We also like beaches, bed-and-breakfasts, and when you squeeze our thigh at a snooty dinner party. Oh, and baths. We like bubble baths," says a writer from New York.

10. P.S. I love you. They may not always admit it, but many men report that they love getting affectionate little notes. "I particularly like finding a note in my suitcase when unpacking on a business trip," says an executive from Dallas. Weinstein agrees. He loves getting a surprise note or email with an affectionate message, and says that a "p.s." increases the charm. "There's something about the p.s. that people respond to. It reminds us of when we were at camp and our mom wrote. P.S. I love you, or the note our high-school sweetheart stuffed into our locker."

official rules for getting older gracefully

      What Happened When Two Gay Guys Went to the Zoo?

Two gay guys take a walk through a zoo.

They come across the gorilla and notice that the male gorilla has a massive erection. The gay men are fascinated by this.

One of the men just can't bear it any longer and he reaches into the cage to touch it.

The gorilla grabs him, drags him into the cage and mates with him for six hours, non-stop, while the zoo attendants helplessly stand by.... When he's done, the gorilla throws the man out of the cage.

An ambulance is called and the man is taken away to the hospital.

A few days later, his friend visits him in the hospital and asks, "Are you hurt?"

"AM I HURT?" he shouts, "Wouldn't you be? He hasn't called.... He hasn't written...."

treat me like an old shoe... tie me up tight & wear me out!

      Do Bumper Stickers Reveal The Truth About People?

An honest man was being tailgated by a stressed out woman on a busy boulevard. Suddenly, the light turned yellow, just in front of him. He did the right thing, stopping at the crosswalk, even though he could have beaten the red light by accelerating through the intersection.

The tailgating woman hit the roof, and the horn, screaming in frustration as she missed her chance to get through the intersection.

As she was still in mid-rant, she heard a tap on her window and looked up into the face of a very serious police officer.

The officer ordered her to exit her car with her hands up. He took her to the police station where she was searched, finger printed, photographed, and placed in a holding cell.

After a couple of hours, a policeman approached the cell and opened the door. She was escorted back to the booking desk where the arresting officer was waiting with her personal effects.

He said, I'm very sorry for this mistake. You see, I pulled up behind your car while you were blowing your horn, flipping off the guy in front of you, and cussing a blue streak at him. I noticed the Choose Life license plate holder, the What Would Jesus Do? bumper sticker, the Follow Me to Sunday-School bumper sticker, and the chrome-plated Christian fish emblem on the trunk.

Naturally, I assumed you had stolen the car.

the real reason why monkeys can't talk.

      Final Words From the Infamous Blakk Frogg?

Recently Blakk Frogg came across a young lady who somehow managed to swipe his heart and capture his imagination. If spotted, please deliver the aforementioned young lady and transport her to Blakk Frogg's love den for a thorough interrogation.

How did Blakk Frogg find this girl? Simply put, he placed an ad in the newspaper for "good looking girl with great personality, good heart, loves to have fun and can field strip an AK-47 Assault Rifle blindfolded and submerged under 20 feet of water."

Just kidding about the ad.

- blakk frogg