Check out the cool gear
at the Blakk Frogg Store

      Blakk Frogg Wear?

Blakk Frogg advances his sarcasm by digging deep in his beer-soaked brain for cool ideas so that you can tell the world to put a cock in it!

blakk frogg is sarcastic for life

Blakk Frogg heard you scream, "tie me up tight & wear me out" before you had to pick your speed 'cuz you were ready to screw a texas tart at the end of a cheap date... Hopefully ya' did-r-good!

Check out the cool gear
at the Blakk Frogg Store

      Bargain store bad guy?

I clipped this from a local news station's website recently and there's not a damn thing funny about it.

But if it makes the offender's life a bit less worth living then my posting this serves a purpose.

- begin clipping -

Posted Wednesday, July 17, 2002 9:26:06 AM

Man Accused of Exposing Himself to Child

A Walmart employee is arrested an an area K-Mart after police say he exposed himself to a child. Glenville Police say 21-year old Jeremiah Woodward of Troy works as an automotive manager at the Glenville Wal-Mart. He was comparing prices at the Glenville K-Mart when police say he exposed himself to an 11-year-old boy. The boy reported it to his father, an off-duty Saratoga cop. Glenville Police later spotted him and arrested him. He is charged with public lewdness and endangering the welfare of a child.

- end clipping -

"...reported it to his father, an off-duty Saratoga cop." -- Now THAT, my friends, is fate.

What I want to know is, why can't these perverts catch ass-whoopings on camera like other sorts of offenders? I mean, seriously. I'd pay to see child molesters get beat down by law enforcement officials.

Think of it as part payback and part pay-per-view. Might make a nice main event for those Sundays that Wrestling has nothing scheduled.

      Americas Best Archives?

Use these links if you dare. Blakk Frogg packed all sorts of jokes, pics, sarcasm and, um, other useless crap in these pages over the years... so ENJOY!

It's Monday afternoon. I can't stand my dayjob. Too little of a future and too small paycheck. SO the only logical thing to do is look through my old emails for fresh web crap to put on this site.

The odds of me actually putting in an honest day's work at this place rank up there with the odds of me ever liking the idea of worm shit in my mountain dew. Therefore you all need to send me cash in the mail. Lots of it. Now.

      Pardon me, but would you care for a beverage?

      Real reason why the Smurfs always smiled

      Here's a little piece for the guys contemplating marriage?

A newlywed couple had only been married for two weeks. The husband, although very much in love with his new bride, couldn't wait to go out on the town drinking with his old buddies. So, he said to his new wife, "Honey, I'll be right back..."

"Where are you going, sweetheart?" asked the wife.

Your Ad Here

"I'm going to the bar, pretty face. I'm going to have a beer."

The wife said, "You want a beer, my love?" She opened the door to the refrigerator and showed him 25 different kinds of beer, brands from 12 different countries: Germany, Holland, Japan, India, etc. The husband didn't know what to do, and the only thing that he could think to say was, "Yes, my little angel, ...but at the bar, ...you know, ...they have frozen glasses and..."

He didn't get to finish the sentence, because the wife interrupted him by saying, "You want a frozen glass, puppy face?" She took of many huge beer mugs out of the freezer, so frozen that she was getting chills just holding it.

The husband, looking a bit pale, said, "Yes, tootsie roll, but at the bar they have those hors d'oeuvres that are really delicious... I won't belong."

"I'll be right back. I promise. OK?"

"You want hors d'oeuvres, my love?" She opened the oven and took out 15 dishes of different hors d'oeuvres: chicken wings, pigs in a blanket, stuffed mushroom caps, pork strips, etc.

"But sweet honey... at the bar... you know... there's swearing, dirty words and all that..."

"You want dirty words, dear?... "LISTEN UP, DICKHEAD! DRINK YOUR FROGGING BEER IN YOUR GOD-DAMN FROZEN MUG AND EAT YOUR MOTHERFROGGING SNACKS, BECAUSE YOU AREN'T GOING ANYWHERE! GOT IT, A$$HOLE?!?"

...And, they lived happily ever after.

      Grandma has problems?

The family wheeled Grandma out on the lawn, in her wheelchair, so she could be a part of her 100th birthday celebration.

Grandma couldn't speak very well, so she wrote notes when she needed to communicate.

After a short time out on the lawn, Grandma started leaning off to the right, so some attentive family members grabbed her, straightened her up, and stuffed pillows under her right side.

A short time later, she started leaning off to her left, so again the loving family members grabbed her and stuffed pillows under her, this time on the left side on her left.

Soon she started leaning forward, so the devoted family members again grabbed her and set her upright. They then tied a pillowcase around her waist to hold her up.

A nephew who arrived late came running up to Grandma and said, "Hi Grandma, you're looking good! How are they treating you?"

Grandma took out her little notepad and slowly wrote a note to the nephew, "They won't let me fart."

      New fetish mascot from Blakk Frogg?

Look for this little bastard in galleries coming soon. Why? Because then you'll say, "Hey! I recognize that little dude!" and feel all warm and gushy on the inside for a brief instant.