Americas Best What?
Use these links to access all the jokes, pics, sarcasm and, um, other useless crap Blakk Frogg has posted on this site over the years.... ENJOY!
Use these links to access (much) older pages from this site... if you're some kinda' retarded archeologist. Loser. ;)
Blakk Frogg Wear?
Friend contract for 2006?
After serious consideration...
Congratulations! Your contract of friendship has been renewed for the new year 2006.
It was a hard decision to make, so try to be friendlier, less shady and more caring next year.
I'm giving you another chance so...
DON'T MESS IT UP!
Be grateful, too. Others were deemed borderline or sub-standard and a few people's contracts were NOT renewed...
( They KNOW who they are )
- ripped from an email!
A woman goes to the post office to buy stamps for her Christmas cards.
She says to the clerk, "May I have 50 Christmas stamps?"
The clerk says, "What denomination?"
The woman says, "God help us. Has it come to this? Give me 6 Catholic, 12 Presbyterian, 10 Lutheran and 22 Baptists.
- email delivered the goods!
More holiday humor?
The Supreme Court has ruled that there cannot be a Nativity Scene in Washington, DC this Christmas season.
This isn't for any religious reason, they simply have not been able to find three wise men and a virgin in the Nation's capitol.
There was no problem, however, finding enough asses to fill the stable.
- email dropped this on me!
Blakk Frogg bakes?
'Tis the season for Blakk Frogg to share a secret recipe that guarantees complete cookie satisfaction... whatever that means.
Gather the following ingredients and follow the damn directions, please:
Sample the Cuervo to check quality. Take a large bowl, check the Cuervo again, to be sure it is of the highest quality, pour one level cup and drink.
Turn on the electric mixer...Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl.
Add one teaspoon of sugar...Beat again.
At this point it's best to make sure the Cuervo is still OK, try another cup ... just in case.
Turn off the mixerer thingy. Break 2 leggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit. Pick the frigging fruit off floor...
Mix on the turner. If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers just pry it loose with a drewscriver.
Sample the Cuervo to check for tonsisticity. Next, sift two cups of salt, or something. Who giveshz a sheet.
Check the Jose Cuervo. Now shift the lemon juice and strain your bowl.
Add one table. Add a spoon of sugar, or somefink.
Whatever you can find.
Greash the oven.
Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall over.
Don't forget to burn off the turner.
Finally, throw the bowl through the window, finish the Cose Juervo and make sure to put the stove in the dishwasher.
- email left me this gift!
Real man's beer troubleshooting guide?
Blakk Frogg drinks beer. He also thinks some people need assistance when they drink beer because they have not yet learned the appropriate responses to common beer drinking situations. Therefore, he proudly posts this next segment for their education... assuming those dumb froggs even know how to READ, that is.
- yep, the email stork dropped off this gem!
Crime of passion, crime of the flesh or plain stupidity?
Nervous priest gets carried away with the sermon?
A new priest at his first mass was so nervous he could hardly speak. After mass he asked the monsignor how he had done.
The monsignor replied, " When I am worried about getting nervous on the pulpit, I put a glass of vodka next to the water glass. If I start to get nervous, I take a sip."
So next Sunday he took the monsignor's advice. At the beginning of the sermon, he got nervous and took a drink. He proceeded to talk up a storm.
Upon his return to his office after the mass, he found the following note on the door:
- emailed jokes kick ass!
- thanks for reading Volume 43 -