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Americas Best What?
Use these links to access all the jokes, pics, sarcasm and, um, other useless crap Blakk Frogg has posted on this site over the years.... ENJOY!
Use these links to access (much) older pages from this site... if you're some kinda' retarded archeologist. Loser. ;)
Blakk Frogg Wear?
Blakk Frogg advances his sarcasm by digging deep in his beer-soaked brain for cool ideas so that you can tell the world to put a cock in it!
blakk frogg is sarcastic for life
Blakk Frogg heard you scream, "tie me up tight & wear me out" before you had to pick your speed 'cuz you were ready to screw a texas tart at the end of a cheap date... Hopefully ya' did-r-good!
Check out the cool gear
at the Blakk Frogg Store
What do you seek?
No one likes a bad, um, well, you know... screwo or nail. So tell the world that you seek good screws and nails!
|- seeking good screws & nails -|
Pull out of Washington?
Blakk Frogg has a knack for finding interesting "facts" pertaining to the War on Iraq. As an example, here he presents to you some "facts" he received by email:
An interesting perspective...
If you consider that there have been an average of 160,000 troops (majority of the time over 250,000) in the Iraq theater of operations during the last 22 months, and a total of 2,112 deaths, that gives a firearm death rate of 60 per 100,000.
The rate in Washington D.C. is 80.6 per 100,000. That means that you are about 25% more likely to be shot and killed in our Nation's Capitol, which has some of the strictest gun control laws in the nation, than you are in Iraq.
Conclusion: We should immediately pull out of Washington D.C.
- from a politically charged email!
Frogg's View on Iraq?
So many have asked, and now he will answer. Blakk Frogg thinks good 'ole Georgie Boy manipulated, lied to, and deceived the American Public. Case closed. No appeals needed.
Blakk Frogg now has nothing more to say. Unlike so many that prefer to talk shit when they don't know all the facts straight, Blakk Frogg prefers to remain silent.
Hoping for more? Tough shit. Blakk Frogg does not speak unless he has something useful to say. The rest of this website, however, is an exception to that (end almost every!) rule. Enjoy.
Fast or slow?
Nothing ruins a good boning session quite like jack rabbit action when you're in the mood for slow, passionate turtle humping so please... pick your speed!
|- pick your speed -|
Sad day for sea life?
Winter storm traps and kills creatures off the coast of Cape Cod? Usually Blakk Frogg has heard of creatures getting trapped in the Bering Straits when the ice freezes a few weeks to soon, but never heard of that occurring near Massachusetts.
Dolphins and whales fell victim to a powerful storm off the coast it seems... and perished. Blakk Frogg mourns their passing. full article hear.
All the while we do it Froggy Style?
Blakk Frogg assumes that no one reading this site has an aversion to sex. If you do, then get the frogg out of here. This ain't Disneyland, bitch, and YES Blakk Frogg thinks you're fuckin' goofy!
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Sex term quiz? Blakk Frogg believes in sex education. if you do NOT know what these terms mean, look them up!
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Looking for more great ways to please (or piss off!) your lover? Check out an earlier edition of americas-best.com and read the entire Man's Dictionary for yourself! You 'll love it... or threw up whatever you just ate. Either way, have fun!
The real story behind the pricing of Barbie Dolls?
On his way home a father remembers that it's his daughter's birthday.
At a toy store he asked the salesperson, "How much is the Barbie in the display window?"
The salesperson answered, "Which one? We have: Work out Barbie for $19.95, Shopping Barbie for $19.95, Beach Barbie for $19.95, Disco Barbie for $19.95, and Divorced Barbie for $265.95.
The amazed father asked: " Why is the Divorced Barbie $265.95 and the others only $19.95?"
Annoyed, the salesman asnwered: "Sir..., "Divorced Barbie comes with: Ken's Car, Ken's House, Ken's Boat, Ken's Furniture, Ken's Computer and... One of Ken's Friends.
- taken FORCEFULLY from email!
Dictionary of the female vocabulary?
FINE
This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.
FIVE MINUTES
If she is getting dressed, this is half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given 5 more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.
NOTHING
This is the calm before the storm. This means "something," and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with 'Nothing' usually end in "Fine"
GO AHEAD
This is a dare, not permission. Don't do it.
LOUD SIGH
This is not actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over "Nothing"
THAT'S OKAY
This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can make to a man. "That's Okay" means that she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.
THANKS
A woman is thanking you. Do not question it or faint. Just say you're welcome.
Oh, and before we forget? "Whatever" ...it's a woman's way of saying *!#@ YOU!
- came from email, so ladies plz let me live!
Nature's little speedbumps get revenge?
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For years human beings, especially us males, have whipped it out and pissed into, onto or through just about ANYthing we can find. Well, here we see a squirrel with strong urge to... return the favor. Blakk Frogg did not know those furry little froggs had such a great sense of humor. Learn something new each day, I guess. Too bad I forget three things and only learn one each day, though. Otherwise I could be a smart Frogg! |
Want to make fun ofthe male gender, ladies?
A three-year-old little boy was examining his testicles while taking a bath.
"Mom," he asked, "are these my brains?"
"Not yet," replied his mother.
- came from email, so ladies plz let me live!
Teaching dogs to talk can cause problems?
A young Southern boy goes off to college, but about 1/3 way through the semester, he has foolishly squandered what money his parents gave him.
Then he gets an idea. He calls his daddy. "Dad," he says, "you won't believe the wonders that modern education are coming up with! Why, they actually have a program here that will teach Ole Blue how to talk!"
"That's absolutely amazing!" his father says. "How do I get him in that program?"
"Just send him down here with $1000," the boy says, "I'll get him into the course."
So, his father sends the dog and the $1000. About 2/3 of the way through the semester, the money runs out. The boy calls his father again.
"So how's Ole Blue doing, son?" his father asks.
"Awesome, dad, he's talking up a storm," he says, "but you just won't believe this. They've had such good results with this program, that a new one has been implemented to teach the animals how to READ!"
"READ!?" says his father, "No kidding! What do I have to do to get him into that program?"
"Just send $2,500, I'll get him in the class. "
His father sends the money.
The boy has a problem. At the end of the year, his father will find out that the dog can neither talk nor read. So he shoots the dog.
When he gets home, his father is all excited. "Where's Ole Blue? I just can't wait to see him talk and read something!"
"Dad," the boy says, "I have some grim news. This morning, when I got out of the shower, Ole Blue was in the living room kicking back in the recliner, reading the morning paper, like he usually does. Then he turned to me and asked, "So, is your daddy still messin' around with that little redhead who lives on Oak Street?"
The father says, "I hope you SHOT that son of a bitch before he talks to your Mother!"
"I sure did, Dad!
"Thanks Son. That's my boy!"
- emailed jokes kick ass!