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Americas Best What?
Use these links to access all the jokes, pics, sarcasm and, um, other useless crap Blakk Frogg has posted on this site over the years.... ENJOY!
Use these links to access (much) older pages from this site... if you're some kinda' retarded archeologist. Loser. ;)
Blakk Frogg Wear?
Blakk Frogg advances his sarcasm by digging deep in his beer-soaked brain for cool ideas so that you can tell the world to put a cock in it!
blakk frogg is sarcastic for life
Blakk Frogg heard you scream, "tie me up tight & wear me out" before you had to pick your speed 'cuz you were ready to screw a texas tart at the end of a cheap date... Hopefully ya' did-r-good!
Check out the cool gear
at the Blakk Frogg Store
Show me your Frogg?
Stop, drop, and show your Frogg! Don't just sit there, ya' big dummy! Check out the original Frogg Gear today!
Lonely laps in Seattle?
In other words, local dipshit legislators in Seattle have taken away the rights of law abiding citizens with lonely laps.
Now, as a result of some new laws, if folks in Seattle want a good lap dance, they will have to take their 'hard' earned money elsewhere.
"Imposing tight regulations that one adult club lawyer said would make strip clubs 'less fun,' Seattle’s City Council voted late yesterday to require dancers at adult nightclubs to stay at least four feet from customers while dancing, and have told night club owners they must install 'parking garage-style' lighting throughout their premises." -- source: XBiz
Don't you just love the way parking garage lights make the booty shine?!?!?
Who supports laws taking away our rights to lap dances?
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Chris Rock walks into the White House and asks politely, "Can a ni**a' get a table dance????"
George W. Bush slaps him across the face screaming, "No, sir! You may not see the 1,000 points of glitter upon the dancer's round booty! Repent you sinner or I will unleash weapons of moronic destruction on you!"
Any good arrests lately?
Ladies and gentlemen, esteemed colleagues, and all the rest of you... Let the record show that the defendants did willingly take advantage of their friends' and neighbors' good hearts and generosity at a timne when a region of this country (the United States) desperately needed our help. Fry these motherfroggers until their eyeballs pop out and the skin on their knuckles ignites.
The FBI caught some scammers who pocketed over $40,000 in aid money donated to a phony relief fund set up to help the victims of Hurricane Katrina. Get the full story here.
Does Blakk Frogg believe in animal rights?
Actually, the thought of someone handing a loaded Glock 17 to a Grizzly Bear frightens the hell out of Blakk Frogg. I mean, think about it: The park ranger would have had a hell of a time cleaning up slain campers if Yogi and Boo Boo jumped out of the bushes strapped with 9 mm pistols. "Gimme' the pic-a-nic basket or I'll peel your cap! Ain't that right, Boo Boo?"
At any rate, I mentioned the concept of arming animals for a reason. Some animals, I think, NEED the protection afforded by firearms. Most notably, those weird looking smaller breeds of dogs could really use some help. Have you SEEN what their retardedly stupid human companions DO to them sometimes?
talking dogs would be saying, "please kill us... this is embarrassing!"
A much worse fate for mankind's favorite furry friends?
Live dogs used for bait? What? Someone must have heard wrong and printed the wrong words, right? I mean, no decent human being would DARE jam a giant bait hook through the nose of a dog, toss it in the water and use it to attract sharks...
Blakk Frogg must sadly report that this practice might actually exist on a French-controlled island in the Indian Ocean (source: Dogs used as shark bait).
Comments about odor, manners, amounts and locations of body hair, "bad" sexual behaviors, and most notably their exceptionally long record of waving the white flag in times of war have plagued the French for a long. Now France haters will get to associate that country with hideous acts of animal cruelty, too?
Thankfully for France a well-known Urban Legends website known as Snopes took on the task of trying to sort fact from fiction. According to Snopes.Com, rumors of this horrific fishing practice surfaced at least once before and as of the time this edition of Americas-Best.Com hit the Internet, no one knows for sure if the rumors contain any bit(s) of truth.
Having read the Sun Online Shark Story, the Snopes Shark Bait Story Evaluation and then a few articles on the feeding practices of sharks, well, Blakk Frogg thinks the pups in the picture printed above this section lead pretty damn good lives -- even if their dipshit owners dress them up in funny(?) outfits.
Who is looking for the bastards using dogs as bait?
I sent this image to a whole group of friends in an email with the subject "This person is looking for you" and one got upset. Apparently the guy's bushy catepillar-like eyebrows frightened her.
What GOOD news do you have for all the puppies?
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Honda Motors has taken pity on the pooches and designed a more canine-friendly automobile. No longer will Fido slide across the backseat when some dipshit of a driver (probably a stupid lover!) cuts you off. Safety and comfort for the canine on the go! Dog lovers rejoice! Woof! |
Are you ready for a blonde cowboy joke?
The Sheriff in a small town walks out in the street and sees a blonde cowboy coming down the walk with nothing on but his cowboy hat, gun, and his boots, so he arrests him for indecent exposure. As he is locking him up he asks "Why in the world are you dressed like this?"
The Cowboy says "Well it's like this Sheriff... I was in the bar down the road and this pretty little red head asks me to go out to her motor home with her. So I did. We go inside and she pulls off her top and asks me to pull off my shirt... so I did. Then she pulls off her skirt and asks me to pull off my pants... So I did. Then she pulls off her panties and asks me to pull off my shorts... So I did. Then she gets on the bed and looks at me kind of sexy and says, "Now go to town cowboy..." . . . And here I am.
- from yet another email I never should have read!
What's that? You want me to tell you another blonde joke?
A blonde goes into a coffee shop and notices there's a "peel and win" sticker on her coffee cup.
So she peels it off and starts screaming, "I've won a motorhome!
I've won a motorhome!"
The waitress says, "That's impossible. The biggest prize is a free Lunch.?"
But the blonde keeps on screaming, "I've won a motorhome! I've won a motorhome!"
Finally, the manager comes over and says, "Ma'am, I'm sorry, but you're mistaken. You couldn't have possibly won a motorhome because we didn't have that as a prize."
The blonde says, "No, good sir, it's not a mistake! I've won a motorhome!"
And she hands the ticket to the manager and HE reads...
"W I N A B A G E L"
- source: another rotten email!
Ever wonder if babies had the ability to break dance?
Perfectly normal thing to wonder about, right? I mean, haven't you ever pondered the notion that all humans can dance at birth and that we lose our ability to boogie as we get older? I mean, like, seriously... How else do you explain human affinity for the Macarena and Electric Slide as we get older?
sender of this picture said they saw this break dancing baby on www.fark.com