Check out the cool gear
at the Blakk Frogg Store
Americas Best What?
Use these links to access all the jokes, pics, sarcasm and, um, other useless crap Blakk Frogg has posted on this site over the years.... ENJOY!
Use these links to access (much) older pages from this site... if you're some kinda' retarded archeologist. Loser. ;)
Blakk Frogg Wear?
Blakk Frogg advances his sarcasm by digging deep in his beer-soaked brain for cool ideas so that you can tell the world to put a cock in it!
blakk frogg is sarcastic for life
Blakk Frogg heard you scream, "tie me up tight & wear me out" before you had to pick your speed 'cuz you were ready to screw a texas tart at the end of a cheap date... Hopefully ya' did-r-good!
Check out the cool gear
at the Blakk Frogg Store
Wearing the wrong shirt?
Get yourself some fresh Frogg Gear and reclaim your social standing. He or she with the most Frogg Gear wins!
Got a filthy monitor?
This is very clever! It really works!!!! I noticed that my monitor was not quite as clear as when we first got it and apparently the electrons build up on the inside of the screen with time. This causes the picture quality to deteriorate.
I found a free program that I used to 'clean' the inside of my screen and the improvement was quite noticeable. I highly suggest you try it. Simply click on the following link and wait for the prgram to load and then it takes roughly 45 seconds to do its job:
"Have you spent half your life drunk in bars... pursuing sins of the flesh?" Ron White asked that very important question as part of his slightly intoxicated, but very funny, performance on the Blue Collar Comedy Tour. What better way to start off a drinking segment on this site than with a quote from a Drinking Master, right?
For some reason drinking amuses a lot of us, myself included, and the results of us drinking (too much) sometimes amuses those around us. I recently received an email containing evidence of what allegedly happens to every girl or woman who has a few too many margaritas.
If you know any females who exhibit these traits, point them to this site so they can laugh at themselves as much as we laugh at them, OK?
After a few too many margaritas, the drunk girls say...
I have absolutely no idea where my purse is.
I believe that dancing with my arms overhead and wiggling my butt while yelling "woo-hoo!" is truly the sexiest dance move around.
I've suddenly decided I want to kick someone's ass and honestly believe I could do it too.
In my last trip to pee, I realize I now look more like a homeless hooker than the goddess I was just four hours ago.
everyone seems to love this image, so Blakk Frogg is giving it to you again!
After a few too many Jager Bombs, the drunk girls say...
I drop my 3:00 a.m. submarine sandwich on the floor (which I'm eating even though I'm not the least bit hungry), pick it up and carry on eating it.
I start crying and telling everyone I see that I love them sooooo much.
I get extremely excited and jump up and down every time a new song plays because "oh my god! I love this song!"
I've found a deeper/spiritual side to the geek sitting next to me.
the man I'm flirting with used to be my 5th grade teacher.
the urge to take off articles of clothing, stand on a table, and sing or dance becomes strangely overwhelming.
my eyes just don't seem to want to stay open on their own so I keep them half closed and think it looks exotically sexy.
I've suddenly taken up smoking and become really good at it.
I yell at the bartender, who (I think) cheated me by giving me just lemonade, but that's just because I can no longer taste the gin.
I think I'm in bed, but my pillow feels strangely like the kitchen floor
I start every conversation with a booming, "don't take this the wrong way but..."
I fail to notice that the toilet lid's down when I sit on it.
my hugs begin to resemble wrestling take-down moves.
I'm tired so I just sit on the floor (wherever I happen to be standing) and take a quick nap.
I begin leaving the buttons open on my button fly pants to cutdown on the time I'm in the bathroom away from my drink.
I take my shoes off because I believe it's their fault that I'm having problems walking straight.
Now if any of you some girls who fit the description(s) put forth by this list, send them to this page so they can laugh at themself!
Oh, and no matter HOW strange you may behave while drinking, ladies, as long as you don't throw things at a Frogg or cause him to spill his ice cold corona with lime, Blakk Frogg still loves you!
- list came from email... so stop bitching at me!
What happens when you purchase a bottle of Everclear?
Although Blakk Frogg would love to see all of you having a great time this weekend, if you choose to try your hand at making the concoction detailed below, you do so at your OWN RISK. Everclear, a grain alcohol, can kill you if drink too much of it. At a mere 190 proof, well, the math speaks for itself. Be careful!
With that said, look at what we did a few weekends ago:
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Blakk Frogg's roommate loves Ohio State and a few weeks ago he had a few people over to the apartment to watch their season opener. This sharp photo reveals only a fraction of the goodies we readied for cunsumption on that afternoon. |
Now do you see the true evil of our ways? The innocent looking fruit before you in this pic soaked overnight in, um, well, a full bottle of everclear. It took Blakk Frogg a while to cut all the fruits, too. Lots of nutrition in that 8 gallon pail! |
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Blakk Frogg has a degree in chemistry but his roommate has the 'special touch' required for properly diluting a batch of Jungle Juice so he had the honor of readying the brew for serving. Gotta' love Walmart's great price of $1.97 USD for a gallon of Hawaiian Punch! |
What you see here brought tears to our eyes... each time we ate a piece of apple or bit down on a grape. Those little bastards sucked in more everclear than any of the other fruits Blakk Frogg cut up. |
This batch if Jungle Juice lasted us a long time that fateful afternoon and rest assured it tasted great, smelled wonderful, had the body and consistency of a highest quality alcoholic snack... and got everyone who touched it totally fuckin' hammered.
So who's coming over when we make the next batch, which will feature more tropical fruits such as the kinky kiwi, moonshine mango, and perverted pineapple?