Americas Best What?
Use these links to access all the jokes, pics, sarcasm and, um, other useless crap Blakk Frogg has posted on this site over the years.... ENJOY!
Use these links to access (much) older pages from this site... if you're some kinda' retarded archeologist. Loser. ;)
Blakk Frogg Wear?
Wearing the wrong shirt?
free pussy can be some very confusing pussy!
Stop thinking with your groin..... and read on, ya' filthy pervert!
Friday night I ventured out of the apartment to take in the local Rock Hill, SC nightlife at a 'spot' called The Money. Those familiar with Rock Hill have most likely heard of the place and have definite opinions about the place. In general, people either love it or hate it with NO inbetween opinions. I, for one, like the place, but then again I go there to drink a few at their outside bar and people watch, not to get laid... although I wouldn't necessarily OPPOSE an opportunity like that if it came my way. I am human after all.
But anyways, let us return to the matter of a questionable pussy at an odd hour of the morning. I left around 10:30 PM and at that time, to my knowledge, we had no pussy in the apartment. My roommate, a guy, had gone to his bed over an hour ago and no one else had been at the apartment all night.
I returned home later that night, more like a few hours before dawn, and found myself staring at noisy pussy in my living room. Um, WTF?!? My roommate does not LIKE pussy -- of the feline kind. He pretty much HATES pussy -- of the feline kind.
So, mildly intoxicated and totally confused I attempted to figure out a plausible explanation for the unexpected presence of pussy in the apartment. A lamp had fallen off an end table to the floor and a set of blinds had also come down. Damn that pussy got wild in the apartment!
Nope. No logical answers could I come up with so naturally I yelled upstairs with the intention of awakening my roommate so we could talk about this new pussy that I found. He lumbered down the stairs and looked at me as though I had lost my damn mind. I HAD lost my damn mind and it was all over the mysterious pussy in the apartment.
He denied all knowledge of the pussy and alluded to the fact that I must have brought it home with me from the bar. Um, hello? I went to a bar, not an animal shelter! He said he heard a cat in the apartment and dismissed it as part of a dream... apparently my roommate does not find it odd to dream about strange pussy. I don't know about you, but I recognize all the pussies in MY dreams!
So, in the interest of personal sanity I locked the pussy in my room with me and passed the frogg out. The pussy curled up behind me and purred its way to sleep, apparently content with my having stroked it for a while.
I woke up to the pleasant feeling of a pussy grinding against my thigh and quickly realized the pussy in my bed did not belong to me. I had to get rid of it quickly because strange pussy might have diseases and damn that pussy made a lot of noise!
So, after explaining to the pussy that it needed to get back to its home, I walked downstairs and pussy came right behind me. Spoke briefly with my roommate who had assumed his normal place in from the of the television watching college football and he re-stated his lack of knowledge about the origin of the pussy.
Well, given that we live in a moderate climate and the cat obviously had a home someplace in the complex, as evidenced by the fact its owner(s) had taken the time to clips its balls off at some point, we opened the front door and let the pussy go free. We didn't kick it out or throw it out, though. We merely gave it the option to leave and as expected, the pussy looked out the doorway, looked back at us, meowed loudly with a cute purring sound mixed in, and headed out.
Funny how pussy can enter your life so unexpectedly and depart just the same. For those that have never seen pussy, I will share my pussy pics with you. Yep. Free pussy pics.
Stop snickering, ya' filthy little pervert! And put away the hand lotion, too!
What makes this story so great? Aside from the gratuitous and almost completely unnecessary use of the word pussy, this really happened. Somehow the cat slipped into the apartment while one of us came or went that night and got trapped all by its lonesome until I staggered home at, um, well, that's a secret.
Could that pussy story have gotten ugly?
- thanks for reading Volume 34 -