blakk frogg
Check out the cool gear
at the
Blakk Frogg Store

      Americas Best What?

jokes, funny pics, & ... your mama!

Use these links to access all the jokes, pics, sarcasm and, um, other useless crap Blakk Frogg has posted on this site over the years.... ENJOY!

  • Americas-Best.Com Main Page
  • Da' MySpace Comments Blog

    Use these links to access (much) older pages from this site... if you're some kinda' retarded archeologist. Loser. ;)

  • Americas Best Pictures Pages
  • Older MySpace Comments Pages
  • Americas Best MySpace Board

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  •       Blakk Frogg Wear?

    cool clothes & more from Frogg!

    Blakk Frogg advances his sarcasm by digging deep in his beer-soaked brain for cool ideas so that you can tell the world to put a cock in it!

    blakk frogg: sarcastic for life
    blakk frogg is sarcastic for life

    Blakk Frogg heard you scream, "tie me up tight & wear me out" before you had to pick your speed 'cuz you were ready to screw a texas tart at the end of a cheap date... Hopefully ya' did-r-good!

    Check out the cool gear
    at the
    Blakk Frogg Store

          Does your wardrobe suck?

    frogg up your appearance today!

    Stop wearing the same tired outfits you have worn since kindergarten.

    Oh, and you have a mustard stain on your sleeve! Yuck! No one wants to deal with mustard stains in a social setting!

    Get yourself some fresh Frogg Gear and reclaim your social standing. How or she with the most Frogg Gear wins!

          Laws of the Universe?

    one cannot argue against these!

    Throught time mankind has struggled to gain a better understanding of its environment. Thus far we have determined men and women will never understand each other and should stop trying.

    We have also determined, through careful research, that the following Laws of the Natural Universe hold true in any situation:

    Law of Mechanical Repair: After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch.

    Law of the Workshop: Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.

    Law of the Telephone: When you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal.

    Law of the Alibi: If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire.

    Variation Law: If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will start to move faster than the one you are in now (works every time).

    Bath Theorem: When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.

    Law of Close Encounters: The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.

    Law of the Result: When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.

    Law of Biomechanics: The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.

    Theater Rule: At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last

    Law of Coffee: As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.

    Murphy's Law of Lockers: If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.

    Law of Dirty Rugs/Carpets: The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor covering are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet/rug.

    Law of Location: No matter where you go, there you are.

    Law of Logical Argument: Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.

    Brown's Law: If the shoe fits, it's ugly.

    Oliver's Law: A closed mouth gathers no feet.

    - from email... it was written!  

  • another blakk frogg production
          Would you please start us off with a few tsateless jokes?
    I'll gladly make you wince in agaony with bad humor!

    > joke number one <

    When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her out to someplace expensive.... So I took her to a gas station!

    > joke number two <

    Three old Ladies named Gertrude, Maude, and Tillie were sitting on a park bench having a quiet conversation when a flasher approached from across the park.

    The man came up to the ladies, stood right in front of them, opened his trench coat and exposed himself.

    Gertrude and Maude both had a stroke.

    But Tillie, being older and feebler, bless her heart, couldn't reach that far.

    > joke number three <

    Little Jill comes home from playing at Johnny's house. "Hey Mom, guess what! Johnny's got a penis like a peanut!"

    Mom is understandably confused for a second, then asks, "What, you mean it's shaped like a peanut?"

    Little Jill quickly replies, "No silly, it's salty!"

    > joke number four <

    A man and his wife are screwing. Fifteen minutes has passed, thirty minutes, then 45 minutes. Sweat is pouring off both of them. After a few more moments, the wife comments, "Can't you think of anyone either?"

    - jokes from email... so laugh, damn you! laugh!  

          Ever see a game of charades go terribly wrong?

    the very thought of this brings tears to my eyes!

    play a game of charades..... Bangkok!

    - pic arrived via email... so don't blame me!  

          Blakk Frogg went to Munich, Germany recently?

    when the company called on him, blakk frogg answered!

    "Does anyone have a passport," my boss hollered out at 4:25 PM on a previously uneventful Thursday afternoon. All around me people kept saying, "No, not me.... Nope.... Uh-uh...." until it came my turn to speak. I said, "Yeah, I have a passport."

    With lightning speed a head appeared around the edge of my cubicle and I heard the question, "Is it valid? If so, can you go to Germany tomorrow morning?"

    Needless to say, I held a valid passport and my amphibious ass boarded a plane less than fifteen hours later. Yep. Blakk Frogg went to Germany for a week on fifteen hours notice. Spontaneity kicks ass!

    "Blakk Frogg's Big Beer"

    Blakk Frogg outside Hofbrau Haus in Munich, Germany.... Big Beer!

    Above: Blakk Frogg takes a moment to pose with his beer outside Hofbrau Haus in Munich, Germany. Can you believe that a person can drink an entire liter of beer right down to the bottom without getting that "eww... backwash" taste? With German beer it's possible!

          Got any ladies from the 50's or 60's wolfing down pasta?

    not what you'd expect to find in a nice restaurant!

    "Pasta Barfing Babes"

    girls eating spaghetti pic

    Above: Imagine walking into a restaurant and seeing THAT on not one, but TWO walls. Makes you wanna' order the pasta, right?

    So, yeah, the photo to the left and one like it adorned the walls of a pretty decent Italian restaurant located near our hotel across from the old Munich Airport.

    Granted I went to Germany and ate Italian food, which sounds silly, but the location of our hotel dictated my options; hotel restaurant or Italian. Wish I recalled the name of the place, though, because I really enjoyed their food... and their beer!

          Watersports in the middle of a German city?

    surf's up, motherfrogger's... and the water is in the middle of a park!

    Some things do not add up and this event definitely qualified. While on a leisurely stroll through downtown Munich I had the opportunity to snap the photo you see on the right.

    A crowd had gathered near a bridge where water came gushing from underneath the city into a park... and this crazy girl and her friends saw an opportunity to catch some waves!

    "Surfing in the City of Munich"

    blakk frogg saw surfing in.... Munich?!?

    Above & to the Right: Not an illusion and no trick photography. The girl you see and some ofr her friends dropped their boards in the water and actually surfed back and forth on the swell in a city park -- deep in the heart of Munich, Germany!


    - thanks for reading Volume 33 -