Check out the cool gear
at the Blakk Frogg Store
Americas Best What?
Use these links to access all the jokes, pics, sarcasm and, um, other useless crap Blakk Frogg has posted on this site over the years.... ENJOY!
Use these links to access (much) older pages from this site... if you're some kinda' retarded archeologist. Loser. ;)
Blakk Frogg Wear?
Blakk Frogg advances his sarcasm by digging deep in his beer-soaked brain for cool ideas so that you can tell the world to put a cock in it!
blakk frogg is sarcastic for life
Blakk Frogg heard you scream, "tie me up tight & wear me out" before you had to pick your speed 'cuz you were ready to screw a texas tart at the end of a cheap date... Hopefully ya' did-r-good!
Check out the cool gear
at the Blakk Frogg Store
Are you cold and naked?
You will discover the solution to your clothing dilemma RIGHT HERE. No need to run naked through the streets when you can wear Official Blakk Frogg Shirts!
Poem just for girls?
I shave my legs,
I sit down to pee.
I can justify any shopping spree.
Don't go to a barber, but a beauty salon.
I can get a massage without a hard-on.
I can balance the checkbook,
I can pump my own gas.
Can talk to my friends, about the size of my ass.
My beauty's a masterpiece, and yes, it takes long.
At least I can admit, to others when I'm wrong.
I don't drive in circles, at any cost.
And I don't have a problem, admitting I'm lost.
I never forget, an important date.
You just gotta deal with it, I'm usually late.
I don't watch movies, with lots of gore.
Don't need instant replay, to remember the score.
I won't lose my hair, I don't get jock itch.
And just cause I'm assertive, Don't call me a bitch.
Don't say to your friends, Oh yeah, I can get her.
In your dreams, my dear, I can do better!
Flowers are okay,
But jewelry's best.
Look at ME you idiot...
Not at my chest????
I don't have a problem,
With Expressing my feelings.
I know when you're lying,
You look at the ceiling.
DON'T call me a GIRL,
a BABE or a CHICK.
I am a WOMAN.
Get it?, you DICK!?!
- from email... for real!
Check out the cool gear
at the Blakk Frogg Store
Americas Best What?
Use these links to access all the jokes, pics, sarcasm and, um, other useless crap Blakk Frogg has posted on this site over the years.... ENJOY!
Use these links to access (much) older pages from this site... if you're some kinda' retarded archeologist. Loser. ;)
Blakk Frogg Wear?
Blakk Frogg advances his sarcasm by digging deep in his beer-soaked brain for cool ideas so that you can tell the world to put a cock in it!
blakk frogg is sarcastic for life
Blakk Frogg heard you scream, "tie me up tight & wear me out" before you had to pick your speed 'cuz you were ready to screw a texas tart at the end of a cheap date... Hopefully ya' did-r-good!
Check out the cool gear
at the Blakk Frogg Store
Want some quick jokes?
Q: How Do You Catch a Unique Rabbit?
A: Unique Up On It.
Q: How Do You Catch a Tame Rabbit?
A: Tame Way, Unique Up On It.
Q: How Do Crazy People Go Through The Forest?
A: They Take The Psycho Path
Q: How Do You Get Holy Water?
A: You Boil The Hell Out Of It.
Q: What Do Fish Say When They Hit a Concrete Wall?
A: Dam!
Q: What Do Eskimos Get From Sitting On The Ice too Long?
A: Polaroids
Q: What Do You Call a Boomerang That Doesn't work?
A: A Stick
Q: What Do You Call Cheese That Isn't Yours?
A: Nacho Cheese.
Q: What Do You Call Santa's Helpers?
A: Subordinate Clauses.
Q: What Do You Call Four Bullfighters In Quicksand?
A: Quattro Sinko..
Q: What Do You Get From a Pampered Cow?
A: Spoiled Milk.
Q: What Do You Get When You Cross a Snowman With a Vampire?
A: Frostbite.
Q: What Lies At The Bottom Of The Ocean And Twitches?
A: A Nervous Wreck.
Q: What's The Difference Between Roast Beef And Pea Soup?
A: Anyone Can Roast Beef.
Q: Where Do You Find a Dog With No Legs?
A: Right Where You Left Him.
Q: Why Do Gorillas Have Big Nostrils?
A: Because! They Have Big Fingers.
Q: Why Don't Blind People Like To Sky Dive?
A: Because It Scares The Dog.
Q: What Kind Of Coffee Was Served On The Titanic?
A: Sanka.
Q: What Is The Difference Between a Harley And a Hoover?
A: The Location Of The Dirt Bag.
Q: Why Did Pilgrims' Pants Always Fall Down?
A: Because They Wore Their Belt Buckle On Their Hat.
Q: What's The Difference Between a Bad Golfer And a Bad Skydiver?
A: A Bad Golfer Goes, Whack, Dang! A Bad Skydiver Goes Dang! Whack.
- from email...
Got any silly internet humor pics for us today?
 bigger deer eats nose pic
One has to wonder what it feels like to have a deer nibble on your nose. Does it tickle? Does it hurt? Furthermore, exactly how WOULD one get a deer to nibble on their nose? The answers to these questions and more, blakk frogg does not have. Sorry. Get the damn answers yourself, you lazy turds.
|
 full size lovable STD Bunny |
What? Calling 911 is a bad idea? Says who?
Dispatcher: 9-1-1
Caller: Yeah, I'm having trouble breathing. I'm all out of breath. Damn, man .... I think I'm going to pass out. Please help me....
Dispatcher: Sir, I will. Where are you calling from?
Caller: I'm at a pay phone. Corner of North and Foster. Damn ...... Getting real dizzy now...
Dispatcher: Sir, stay with me. An ambulance is on the way. Are you an asthmatic?
Caller: No
Dispatcher: Sir, I need you to stay conscious. What were you doing before you started having trouble breathing?
Caller: Running from the Police...
- from email... but the moron's going to jail!
Would you like to annoy your friends with an email?
About twice a week I get an email which goes a little something like this, "Here are 25 questions that you would never think to ask your friend! Change the answers and send this to all your friends so they can show you how much they like you by replying with their answers! The more replies you get, the more friends you have! :)"
Hmmmmm.... Frogg off. You want me to send personal questions around? Make the questions better!
It just so happens I have one of those lame emails here and I think we will now play a game of 'make their questions better'. Ready? Too bad. Game starts... NOW!
When you look at yourself in the mirror, what's the first thing you look at?
improved question: When you look at yourself in the mirror, do you ever look at your own genitals and want to want throw up?
How much cash do you have on you?
improved question: How much cash do you have on you to throw in on tonight's beer run?
What's a word that rhymes with "TEST"?
improved question: When's the last time you had an STD Test and has that rash healed yet?
Favorite plant?
improved question: What kind of plant smokes the best?
Who is the 4th person on your missed call list on your cell phone?:
improved question: Who are the last four people whose calls you ignored and why the frogg don't you ever return my calls anymore?
What is your main ring tone on your phone?
improved question: Why do you have that stupid ringer on your phone? It's really annoyingm you know that?
What shirt are you wearing?
improved question: When you take off your shirt, do your nipples look like raisins?
Do you "label" yourself, and if not, could you?
improved question: When was the last time somebody seriously made fun of you and what did they say? And don't be stingy with the details, either!
Name brand of your shoes currently wearing?
improved question: Damn, you're ugly... What brand of shoes was the person wearing when they stepped all over your face?
Bright or Dark Room?
improved question: Do you prefer to frogg with the lights on or off? And why? Again, gimme' the damn details! All of 'em!
What do you think about the person who took this survey before you?
improved question: After you complete this survey, are you going to kick the shit out of the person who sent it to you?
Ever "spilled the beans"?
improved question: Have you ever gotten really frogged up on "X" and lost/misplaced the rest of your beans?
What were you doing at midnight last night?
improved question: Last night at midnight, where you fucking a friend's significant other?
What did your last text message you received on your cell phone say?
improved question: What is the filthiest most depraved text message you received recently and who sent it to you? Ahem.... Details, motherfrogger! Details!
Do you ever click on "Pop Ups" or Banners?
improved question: Which got you to buy online porn most recently? Pop ups or banner ads?
What's a saying that you say a lot?
improved question: What's the one thing all your friends wish you would STOP SAYING?
Who told you they loved you last?
improved question: Ever tell someone you loved them so they would give you something? Like money, food, clothing, cars, a hug or head?
Last furry thing you touched?
improved question: When was the last time you shaved your groin?
How many hours a week do you work?
improved question: How many hours of your work week do you spend answering surveys like this one? How about looking at goat porn? How many hours a week do you look at that?
How many rolls of film do you need to get developed?
improved question: Ever develop a mystery roll of film and discover pictures of people's genitals and not know whose they are? Did you keep the pictures? Can I borrow them?
Favorite age you have been so far?
improved question: At what age in your life did you have the most fun? And as always, please list ALL details of any and all disgustingly nasty sexual activities occurring in that year below:
Your worst enemy?
improved question: What was the worst thing you ever did to your worst enemy, and did it involve deviant bondage? If so, did you leave them tied up in a nice neat package for their grandparents to find?
What is your current desktop picture?
improved question: Ever had someone put a 'filthy' image on your computer as the desktop picture? If so, why have you not sent it to me yet?
What was the last thing you said to someone?
improved question: What was the last thing you said that got you laid?
If you had to choose between a million bucks or to be able to change a major regret, which would it be?
improved question: If you had to spend a million dollars on something you so sexually deviant and repulsive that you would regret it the rest of your life, what would it be and would your friends (like me) be participating on some base primal level?