blakk frogg
Check out the cool gear
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      Americas Best What?

jokes, funny pics, & ... your mama!

Use these links to access all the jokes, pics, sarcasm and, um, other useless crap Blakk Frogg has posted on this site over the years.... ENJOY!

  • Americas-Best.Com Main Page
  • Da' MySpace Comments Blog

    Use these links to access (much) older pages from this site... if you're some kinda' retarded archeologist. Loser. ;)

  • Americas Best Pictures Pages
  • Older MySpace Comments Pages
  • Americas Best MySpace Board

    Main Page

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  • Myspace Codes

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  • Volume 1
  •       Blakk Frogg Wear?

    cool clothes & more from Frogg!

    Blakk Frogg advances his sarcasm by digging deep in his beer-soaked brain for cool ideas so that you can tell the world to put a cock in it!

    blakk frogg: sarcastic for life
    blakk frogg is sarcastic for life

    Blakk Frogg heard you scream, "tie me up tight & wear me out" before you had to pick your speed 'cuz you were ready to screw a texas tart at the end of a cheap date... Hopefully ya' did-r-good!

    Check out the cool gear
    at the
    Blakk Frogg Store

          Can't find Frogg Shirts?

    look no further, friends!

    Stop wearing all those outdated high fashion outfits and... SHOW YOUR FROGG!

    No one notices a follower. Become a leader! Blaze a new trail! Go forth and spawn like wild animals! Oops, went too far.

          Reason for lynching?

    string the filthy frogger up!

    "A north Queensland man has been granted bail after he was charged with using an internet chatroom to lure a police officer, posing as an underage girl, to engage in sex acts. Anthony David Stonehouse, 27, from Bowen, was arrested yesterday and charged with six counts of using the internet to expose a child to indecent material. He also faces five counts of using the internet to procure a child to engage in sexual acts. It is alleged Stonehouse indecently conversed with the police officer, who was posing as a 14-year-old girl." -- full story here

    from: News Article posted Monday, August 22nd 2005, 10:57am EST by the fine folks at All Of 'Em.

    What? They released that 'pedo' on bail? Makes no sense. Makes me mad. The dude has issues. Keep him locked up and AWAY from kids until he has received proper medical and psychological treatment.

    Just my two (sensible) cents, folks.

          Help for porn addicts?

    12 easy steps to being smut-free!

    "Joe Dallas insists his 30-day program can help men who can't stop themselves from scouring X-rated websites and magazines beat their seedy addiction. Dallas claims the secret to his programme is a five-part strategy called 'ROUTE', which stands for Repentance, Order, Understanding, Training and Endurance. The programme works by helping porn fans face their problem so they can change their behaviour. Dallas says the 30-day program has been "very successful" so far, but admits it may take longer for some men to break their sleazy habit because "any behavioural change is difficult"." -- full story here

    from: News Article posted Monday, August 22nd 2005, 10:58am EST by the fine folks at All Of 'Em.

    First Meeting:

    Hi, my friends call me [censored] and I love porn more than I love myself -- except while watching porn. I love myself a lot then. Perhaps a little too much. My girlfriend says I have a problem, so here I am. She's sick of finding 'spank towels' all over the house and the cat's fur is pretty well matted at this point. Can you help me?

  • americas-best.com: another blakk frogg production

          Does Blakk Frogg ever make fun of his friends?
    someone's really gonna' regret you asking me that question!

    For your viewing pleasure I now present to you the one and only Matt Neasey! I asked him if he minded me using his picture for the site and he said, "No. Not at all." See what happens when you drink Jagermeister, Matt? You make bad decisions!

    matt's jagermeister plane crash
    Matt Neasey's Airline Pilot Career
    Goes Down Fast... Like Hookers.

    Reality came crashing down... Matt always dreamed of flying commercial airliners and actually had a full scholarship for a training program until THIS scandalous photo hit newstands.

    Devastated that his dream had collapsed around him like the nose of that plane, Matt sought out a new career... in dance!

     

    Things went well for a while, but this, too, turned into another disappointing career move for Matt.

    Unable to put the Jagermeister down, even after the airline school fiasco, Matt lost his job as front man for a popular all male 'dance' group. What were you thinking?

    matt's photo with the boys
    Matt Neasey's Flash Dance.

    Most of the facts surrounding Matt's unexpected departure from show business never reached public light because of sealed indictments.

    We did, however, gain access to the arresting officer's report which read, "Suspect apprehended in chicken coop with Granny Panties and several empty bottles of Jagermeister..."

          What happens when a lawyer visits a brothel?

    you gotta' read the joke to find out, good buddy! read, damn you! read!

    The madam opened the brothel door to see a rather dignified, well-dressed good looking man in his late 40s or early 50s.

    "May I help you?" she asked.

    "I want to see Valerie," the man replied.

    "Sir, Valerie is one of our most expensive ladies. Perhaps you would prefer someone else," said the madam.

    "No. I must see Valerie," was the man's reply.

    Just then, Valerie appeared and announced to the man that she charged $1,000 a visit. Without hesitation, the man pulled out ten one-hundred dollar bills, gave them to Valerie, and they went upstairs.

    After an hour, the man calmly left.

    The next night, the same man appeared again, demanding to see Valerie.

    Valerie explained that none had ever come back two nights in a row -- too expensive--and there were no discounts. The price was still $1,000. Again the man pulled out the money, gave it to Valerie and they went upstairs. After an hour, he left.

    The following night the man was there again. Everyone was astounded that he had come for the third consecutive night, but he paid Valerie and they went upstairs.

    After their session, Valerie questioned the man. "No one has ever been with me three nights in a row. Where are you from?" she asked.

    The man replied, "South Carolina."

    "Really," she said. "I have family in South Carolina."

    "I know," the man said. "Your father died, and I am your sister's attorney. She asked me to give you your $3,000 inheritance."

    The moral of the story is that there are three things in life that are certain:

    1. Death

    2. Taxes

    3. Being screwed by a lawyer

    - from email... and I like cheese!  

          Would you hire a man who totally told the truth?

    liars tell lies to cover the lies they told while telling the truth the truth!

    OK, I have received about a dozen different emails along the lines of the one you will read shortly. Each has the same point and each flows about the same. Why did I choose this one? First one I read today. No need to stress out over picking the 'best' one if they all read the same!

    I also selected this one because it features Walmart, the super mega giant humongous chain store that threatened to beat me up if I stole one more of their shopping carts to use as spare parts for the shopping cart I stole from Target.

    begin email here...

    This is an actual job application that a 75 year old senior citizen submitted to Walmart in Arkansas.

    They hired him because he was so funny.........you gotta love it!!!

    NAME: George Martin

    SEX: Not lately, but I am looking for the right woman (or at least one that will cooperate)

    DESIRED POSITION: Company's President or Vice President. But seriously, whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the first place.

    DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that's not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.

    EDUCATION: Yes.

    LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility.

    PREVIOUS SALARY: A lot less than I'm worth.

    MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes.

    REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked.

    HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any.

    PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p.m. Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.

    DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?: Yes, but they're better suited to a more intimate environment.

    MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I had one, would I be here?

    DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UP TO 50 lbs.?: Of what?

    DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the more appropriate question here would be "Do you have a car that runs?"

    HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?: I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearing House Sweepstakes, so they tell me.

    DO YOU SMOKE?: On the job - no! On my breaks - yes!

    WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?: Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy dumb sexy blonde supermodel who thinks I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I'd like to be doing that now.

    NEAREST RELATIVE.... 7 miles

    DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE?: Oh yes, absolutely.

    the email stops here...

     

    - thanks for reading Volume 31 -