Check out the cool gear
at the Blakk Frogg Store
Americas Best What?
Use these links to access all the jokes, pics, sarcasm and, um, other useless crap Blakk Frogg has posted on this site over the years.... ENJOY!
Use these links to access (much) older pages from this site... if you're some kinda' retarded archeologist. Loser. ;)
Blakk Frogg Wear?
Blakk Frogg advances his sarcasm by digging deep in his beer-soaked brain for cool ideas so that you can tell the world to put a cock in it!
blakk frogg is sarcastic for life
Blakk Frogg heard you scream, "tie me up tight & wear me out" before you had to pick your speed 'cuz you were ready to screw a texas tart at the end of a cheap date... Hopefully ya' did-r-good!
Check out the cool gear
at the Blakk Frogg Store
You didn't get hurt badly?
As stated previously, an airbag saved my life. No, not a damn politician. They make me wanna' TAKE my life.
I walked away from the crash you will see below with minimal damage to myself and the poor, innocent woman's whose day I ruined walked away fine, too.
It hurt Blakk Frogg to have ruined that woman's day the way I did, but sh#t happens... and that explains why someone invented toilet paper.
 click here for bigger pic The Front End of Blakk Frogg's 2001 Hyundai Tiburon |
 click here for bigger pic Side View of Shortened 2001 Hyundai Tiburon |
 click here for bigger pic Airbags Broke The Glass In This 2001 Hyundai Tiburon Accident |
 click here for bigger pic Honestly, The Airbag in This 2001 Hyundai Tiburon Saved Me |
 click here for bigger pic Bad Shot From Inside Wrecked 2001 Hyundai Tiburon |
Quite often a good joke comes at the expense of a certain race, color, creed, religion, or gender. Last edition I posted some stuff from an email that bashed men into little tiny bits. This time I will bash the ladies a bit.
Fair is fair, girls. Deal with it and bring me my dinner! And don't forget the hot sauce this time! Gotta' have the hot sauce! You listening to me, woman? ;)
UNDERSTANDING WOMEN -- a man's perspective
I know I'm not going to understand women. I'll never understand how you can take boiling hot wax, pour it onto your upper thigh, rip the hair out by the root, and still be afraid of a spider.
CIGARETTES AND TAMPONS
A man walks into a pharmacy and wanders up and down the aisles. The sales girl notices him and asks him if she can help him. He answers that he is looking for a box of tampons for his wife. She directs him down the correct aisle.
A few minutes later, he deposits a huge bag of cotton balls and a ball of string on the counter.
She says, confused, "Sir, I thought you were looking for some tampons for your wife?
He answers, "You see, it's like this: Yesterday I sent my wife to the store to get me a carton of cigarettes, and she came back with a tin of tobacco and some rolling papers; 'because it's sooooooo much cheaper to roll your own,' she said."
So, I figure if I have to roll my own .......... so does she.
The aforementioned male character most likely will never get laid ever again. In fact, he most likely wound up as a domestic violence statistic in a police blotter shortly after arriving back at his home.
Correction: HER home.
We all know that dumb bastard LOST EVERYTHING in divorce court less than 24 hours after he tried that little stunt.
Are you really a towering 6'8" tall amphibian?
Some rumors ring true. Blakk Frogg has some serious height issues. Some people call him Extra Tall. Others refer to him as a Giant. Everyone calls him an a$$hole.
What people have said regarding my 6'8" stature and the responses I gave:
- Them: Wow. You must have a hard time finding clothes!
- Blakk Frogg: Not really. With all two stores in the state carrying things in my size, well, it's quite easy to find old, out-dated crap no one else would wear.
- Them: Where do you find shoes that big?
- Blakk Frogg: I don't. I sneak up behind an appropriately sized animal and ram my foot up its ass. Shock kills the critter instantly and I then wear the carcass as a shoe until it rots and falls off or the smell gets too unbearable.
- Them (male): Wow. You're tall. Do you have trouble kissing girls?
- Blakk Frogg: Are you asking if I'm gay? Why the hell would you think tall people are gay? Did you get molested by a man on stilts as a child?
- Them: You MUST play basketball!
- Blakk Frogg: No, actually I'm a jockey at the horse track. You should see the size of my horse!
- Them: Did you breast feed?
- Blakk Frogg: Not this morning, no.
- Them: Were your parents tall?
- Blakk Frogg: At first they were giants but as the years passed they kept appearing shorter and shorter to me.... really weird.
- Them: Were you always this tall?
- Blakk Frogg: Yes, and you should have been there to see the look on my mom's face and the stretch marks created when she gave birth to me.
- Them: You used to drink a lot of milk, I bet.
- Blakk Frogg: Actually, I used to just take whole bites out of them. More protein that way.
- Them: What's it like to be that tall?
- Blakk Frogg: Same as it is to be your height, except it's easier to look down girls' shirts.
- Them (male): At your height you must get to look down a lot of blouses, eh?
- Blakk Frogg: Yeah, and at your height you must get to look up a lot of skirts/dresses.
- Them: How's the weather up there?
- Blakk Frogg: I'm sorry. Could you repeat that? I was busy talking with God just now.
- Them (female): I dated a guy your height one time.
- Blakk Frogg: Only one time? I guess he didn't like you much, either.
- from blakk frogg himself!