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Check out the cool gear
at the Blakk Frogg Store
Americas Best What?jokes, funny pics, & ... your mama!
Use these links to access all the jokes, pics, sarcasm and, um, other useless crap Blakk Frogg has posted on this site over the years.... ENJOY!
Americas-Best.Com Main Page
Da' MySpace Comments Blog
Use these links to access (much) older pages from this site... if you're some kinda' retarded archeologist. Loser. ;)
Americas Best Pictures Pages
Older MySpace Comments Pages
Americas Best MySpace Board
Blakk Frogg Wear?cool clothes & more from Frogg!
Blakk Frogg advances his sarcasm by digging deep in his beer-soaked brain for cool ideas so that you can tell the world to put a cock in it!
blakk frogg is sarcastic for life
Blakk Frogg heard you scream, "tie me up tight & wear me out" before you had to pick your speed 'cuz you were ready to screw a texas tart at the end of a cheap date... Hopefully ya' did-r-good!
Check out the cool gear
at the Blakk Frogg Store
Have you seen my beer?I'm thirsty NOW, damn it!
Actually, since the day is Monday and it's in the AM prior to my having to take the trip over to work in a few, I think it best that I avoid the lovely liquid called beer and instead have a nice glass of milk.
Crap. Nothing but 'man milk' in the fridge. That simply will not do. Ah well, Mountain Dew will suffice. Liquid Green Crack in a can. Love it.
Never heard of man milk? Really? OK, well man milk describes a container of milk with an expiration date so ancient that even after straining the solids out, no man would drink it.
Got anything for free?be glad I don't charge for oxygen!
Got a couple more of those free cellphone wallpapers that my friend who does all the work at Wyreless Underground created.
bonus: free cellphone wallpaper upload service! Wyreless Undergrond has the hook-up! You better get up on it while the gettin' is good!
Blakk Frogg's other side?Lewd.. crude.. awesome.. bring a towel and some WD-40!
If you're a consenting adult who wants to look at titties, boobs, vaginas and hardcore cornholing... check out some frogg sex projects. I think you'll like www.blakkfrogg.com quite a bit. Lots of links to free videos, free pics, and free gratuitous stuff. Redundant? Who cares.
Hail a cycling king?this man kicked ass!
Since my last broadcast the world has once again recognized the great accomplishments of a gentleman named Lance Armstrong, the now 7-Time Tour De'France Champion!
In addition to a great line of Frogg related items, Blakk Frogg Store now has an assortment of t-shirts, sweatshirts, coffee mugs and other items which bear the designs shown below. Click on each logo for full product listings!
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What do you think about the weather down there? it's HOT, mother frogger! it's HOT! even the sun is sweating!
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I used to think I knew what the word 'hot' meant. Yep. Used to get a little unpleasant up in Albany/Saratoga during the "Dog Days of Summer". Sweating happened and we complained about it. Bitched about the temperature constantly.
Damn, folks. A year ago I didn't know SHIT about high temperatures and oppressive weather! Looks to me like I traded in my snowshoes for sweatrags and a few gallons of gatorade! Look at the forecast for my area over the next few days... and send me money to help cover the cost of running my A/C 26 hours (not a typo!) a day!
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Fellow South Carolinians: "Is it hot enough for you?"
As stated by a comedian on the Blue Collar Comedy Tour, "If one more person asks me 'is it hot enough for you?' ......", I will shove a glowing red fire poker so far up their ass that steam will pour our of their nose and the blood behind their ugly ass eyeballs will turn vapor!
Now of course I added the fire poker part on my own. Why? Because I cannot recall what the comedian actually said. Therefore I had to ad-lib. Get over it. Now.
Have you been on an airplane lately?the rules have changed and the jokes are flying!
NOTE: I got this next piece from an email I received this morning. Having flown Independence Air and Southwest a few times over the past few months, I can personally say that the sorts of things mentioned in the article sound as though they really COULD have happened!
And now, ladies and pimp froggs, the main attraction:
All too rarely, airline attendants make an effort to make the in flight "safety lecture" and announcements a bit more entertaining. Here are some real examples that have been heard or reported:
On a Southwest flight (SW has no assigned seating, you just sit where you want) passengers were apparently having a hard time choosing, when a flight attendant announced, "People, people we're not picking out furniture here, find a seat and get in it!"
On a Continental Flight with a very "senior" flight attendant crew, the pilot said, "Ladies and gentlemen, we've reached cruising altitude and will be turning down the cabin lights. This is for your comfort and to enhance the appearance of your flight attendants."
On landing, the stewardess said, "Please be sure to take all of your belongings. If you're going to leave anything, please make sure it's something we'd like to have.
"There may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but there are only 4 ways out of this airplane"
"Thank you for flying Delta Business Express. We hope you enjoyed giving us the business as much as we enjoyed taking you for a ride."
As the plane land ed and was coming to a stop at Ronald Reagan, a lone voice came over the loudspeaker: "Whoa, big fella. WHOA!"
After a particularly rough landing during thunderstorms in Memphis, a flight attendant on a Northwest flight announced, "Please take care when opening the overhead compartments because, after a landing like that, sure as hell everything has shifted."
From a Southwest Airlines employee: "Welcome aboard Southwest Flight 245 to Tampa.. To operate your seat belt, insert the metal tab into the buckle, and pull tight. It works just like every other seat belt; and, if you don't know how to operate one, you probably shouldn't be out in public unsupervised."
"In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, masks will descend from the ceiling. Stop screaming, grab the mask, and pull it over your face. If you have a small child traveling with you, secure your mask before assisting with theirs. If you are traveling with more than one small child, pick your favorite."
"Weather at our destination is 50 degrees with some broken clouds, but we'll try to have them fixed before we arrive. Thank you, and remember, nobody loves you, or your money, more than Southwest Airlines."
"Your seat cushions can be used for flotation; and, in the event of an emergency water landing, please paddle to shore and take them with our compliments."
"As you exit the plane, make sure to gather all of your belongings. Anything left behind will be distributed evenly among the flight attendants. Please do not leave children or spouses."
And from the pilot during his welcome message: "Delta Airlines is pleased to have some of the best flight attendants in the industry. Unfortunately, none of them are on this flight!"
Heard on Southwest Airlines just after a very hard landing in Salt Lake City the flight attendant came on the intercom and said, "That was quite a bump, and I know w! hat y'all are thinking. I'm here to tell you it wasn't the airline's fault, it wasn't the pilot's fault, it wasn't the flight attendant's fault, it was the asphalt."
Overheard on an American Airlines flight into Amarillo, Texas, on a particularly windy and bumpy day: During the final approach, the Captain wasreally having to fight it. After an extremely hard landing, the Flight Attendant said, "Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to Amarillo. Please remain in your seats with your seat belts fastened while the Captain taxis what's left of our airplane to the gate!"
Another flight attendant's comment on a less than perfect landing: "We ask you to please remain seated as Captain Kangaroo bounces us to the terminal."
An airline pilot wrote that on this particular flight he had hammered his ship into the runway really hard. The airline had a policy which required the first officer to stand at the door while the Passengers exited, smile, and give them a "Thanks for flying our airline." He said that, in light of his bad landing, he had a hard time looking the passengers in the eye, thinking that someone would have a smart comment. Finally everyone had gotten off except for a little old lady walking with a cane. She said, "Sir, do you mind if I ask you a question?" "Why, no, Ma'am," said the pilot. "What is it?" The little old lady said, "Did we land, or were we shot down?"
After a real crusher of a landing in Phoenix, the attendant came on with, "Ladies and Gentlemen, please remain in your seats until Capt. Crash and the Crew have brought the aircraft to a screeching halt against the gate. And, once the tire smoke has cleared and the warning bells are silenced, we'll open the door and you can pick your way through the wreckage to the terminal."
Part of a flight attendant's arrival announcement: "We'd like to thank you folks for flying with us to! day. And, the next time you get the insane urge to go blasting through the skies in a pressurized metal tube, we hope you'll think of US Airways."
Heard on a Southwest Airline flight. "Ladies and gentlemen, if you wish to smoke, the smoking section on this airplane is on the wing and if you can light 'em, you can smoke 'em."
A plane was taking off from Kennedy Airport. After it reached a comfortable cruising altitude, the captain made an announcement over the intercom, "Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. Welcome to Flight Number 293, nonstop from New York to Los Angeles. The weather ahead is good and, therefore, we should have a smooth and uneventful flight. Now sit back and relax... OH , MY GOD!" Silence followed, and after a few minutes, the captain came back on the intercom and said, "Ladies and Gentlemen, I am so sorry if I scared you earlier. While I was talking to you, the flight attendant accidentally spilled a cup of hot coffee in my lap. You should see the front of my pants!" A passenger in Coach yelled, "That's nothing. You should see the back of mine!"
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