blakk frogg
Check out the cool gear
at the
Blakk Frogg Store

      Americas Best What?

jokes, funny pics, & ... your mama!

Use these links to access all the jokes, pics, sarcasm and, um, other useless crap Blakk Frogg has posted on this site over the years.... ENJOY!

  • Americas-Best.Com Main Page
  • Da' MySpace Comments Blog

    Use these links to access (much) older pages from this site... if you're some kinda' retarded archeologist. Loser. ;)

  • Americas Best Pictures Pages
  • Older MySpace Comments Pages
  • Americas Best MySpace Board

    Main Page

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  •       Blakk Frogg Wear?

    cool clothes & more from Frogg!

    Blakk Frogg advances his sarcasm by digging deep in his beer-soaked brain for cool ideas so that you can tell the world to put a cock in it!

    blakk frogg: sarcastic for life
    blakk frogg is sarcastic for life

    Blakk Frogg heard you scream, "tie me up tight & wear me out" before you had to pick your speed 'cuz you were ready to screw a texas tart at the end of a cheap date... Hopefully ya' did-r-good!

    Check out the cool gear
    at the
    Blakk Frogg Store

          Show me your Frogg?

    please don't make me beg!

    If you don't show me your frogg, young lady, you will get no dessert! Frogg Gear guarantees you dessert. Not really, but I felt like saying that.

          Watery cheese, ma'am?

    spreads evenly on crackers!

    Leave it to a Canadian to think cheese will taste better when dipped in... 50 meters of water?!? Yep. A Quebec company got the brilliant idea to submerge 800 kilograms of cheese having an estimated value of $50,000 in Saguenay fjord, an area of water located just north of Quebec City.

    After a little bit of work using high tech gear and some talented divers, the hunt for sunken cheese ended. Why? Because it began to cost too much to recover the cheese.

    Blakk Frogg thinks this part takes the cake, though: Even if they had recovered the cheese it most likely would NOT have reached retail shelves due to health concerns.

    Three cheers for the Quebec Board of Health! People, pets and fish urinate and defecate in the water daily so I think you KNOW what would cause a 'new' or 'unusual' taste in the submerged cheese!

    Blakk Frogg lies? Read the source article for yourself, silly!

    So now the question becomes, "What happened to that cheese?" I have an idea. The Loch Ness Monster, while vacationing at the titty bars in Montreal, ventured up to Quebec for a swim, stumbled across the cheese, and had a snack.

    So, if rumors of the Loch Ness Monster being a female are true, that means Canada got invaded by a mysterious watery cheese eating lesbian sea creature... and that makes for a far better story than some stupid Canadian losing a block of stinky cheese in 50 meters of water!

          Who protects America?

    the ass-whoopinest man ever!

    george bush is a faker
    get more from the source:
    wyrelessunderground.com

    Sorry, folks. Blakk Frogg couldn't halp but re-use this image again. The look on Bush's face makes me feel so safe and secure -- in the knowledge that I will get drafted to fight some war that ain't got nothing to do with keeping America safe.

    Does Frogg hate George Bush and does Blakk Frogg think Republicans suck ass meat? Nope. I just don't trust that frogger. Case closed.

  • americas-best.com: another blakk frogg production
          Does Blakk Frogg like all forms of music?
    yes he does, but some of it makes him wanna' hurl!

    Ever wonder what the hell some musician smoke before he or she sits down to write song lyrics? Blakk Frogg has wonders this quite frequently. In fact, he wonders it right now. Keep reading for a real musical treat, ya' silly little monkeys!

    SONG LYRIC OF THE DAY:

    "There's a thin line between love and a thug / And how drunk she gotta' be to put it in her butt." -- source: Hell's Winter

    OK, sure, all you ignorant hip-hop haters can say, "See? Look at those ignorant rappers! Always talking stupid and making no sense! Rap is crap! Rap is crap!"

    Where is James when we need him most? These lyrics SUCK!

    Although Blakk Frogg happens to really enjoy hip hop and frequently attends hip hop style events, in a case like this where the sheer volume of garbage contained in that brief snippet of a song lyric brings back feelings associated with hugging the porcelain bowl after a long night of funneling beers and chugging Jagermeister shots, I have no choice but to agree. That rap was crap!

    The people who wrote that crap need to re-visit Song Writing 101 at the Hip Hop Music Academy. Apparently they received a passing grade by mistake.


          When does Blakk Frogg sleep?

    I'll sleep when I'm dead! Either that or rot away into dust!

    Blakk Frogg never sleeps! Well, OK, so he sleeps every once in a while -- like at least once a day. BUT he never falls asleep like any of the folks/critters below. Each of these fine photographs came from an email.... Deal with it!

    tired baby in shoe

    tired kid eating noodles

    One set of parents forces their child to doze sleep face first in a smelly old shoe and that reminds me of the pic where the kid sleeps with his face scrunched up in the dog's ass (face in dog's ass pic). The other unfortunate child's parents force it to eat until the point of utter exhaustion it seems. Buy stock in Jenny Craig, folks, because she's getting a new member soon!

    tired kid on shelf

    exhausted kitty in the radiator

    When mom and dad yelled, "Give it a rest!", the kid on the left took things a few steps further than anyone could have possibly anticipated. The male cat on the right got itself all tangled in the radiator while looking for some good loving. This proves the theory that ALL males, regardless of species, fall asleep after a good lay.

    kitten face down in its food

    this kid is tired as shit, I guess

    Left hungry one too many times due to fierce sibling competition around the feeding bowl, this industrious kitten learned that sleeping on the food pretty much guarantees him a good meal. With regard to the combination sleeping/shitting kid, well, the skill he displays usually manifests itself after an adult drinks a gallon of vodka... but apparently this kid is a natural!

          Can life really get any worse?

    Good, Bad and the Ugly says it certainly can!

    Just when you think life has dealt you a winning hand, some joker with a wild card and a hard-on for your misery pops up and spoils the day. Check out a few examples of how life can go from Good to Bad to Ugly in just a few short words.

    Good: Your wife is pregnant.
    Bad: It's triplets.
    Ugly: You had a vasectomy five years ago.

    Good: Your wife's not talking to you.
    Bad: She wants a divorce.
    Ugly: She's a lawyer.

    Good: Your son is finally maturing.
    Bad: He's involved with the Woman next door.
    Ugly: So are you.

    Good: Your son studies a lot in his room.
    Bad: You find several porn movies hidden there.
    Ugly: You're in them.

    Good: Your hubby and you agree, no more kids.
    Bad: You can't find your birth control pills.
    Ugly: Your 13 year old daughter borrowed them.

    Good: Your husband understands fashion.
    Bad: He's a cross-dresser.
    Ugly: He looks better than you.

    Good: You give the "birds and bees" talk to your daughter.
    Bad: She keeps interrupting.
    Ugly: With corrections.

    Good: The postman's early.
    Bad: He's wearing fatigues and carrying a shotgun.
    Ugly: You gave him nothing for Christmas.

    Good: Your son is dating someone new.
    Bad: It's another man.
    Ugly: He's your best friend.

    Good: Your daughter got a new job.
    Bad: As a hooker.
    Ugly: Your coworkers are her best clients.
       Way Ugly: She makes more money than you do.

    - source: another voluptuous email!   

     

    - thanks for reading Volume 19 -