blakk frogg
Check out the cool gear
at the
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      Americas Best What?

jokes, funny pics, & ... your mama!

Use these links to access all the jokes, pics, sarcasm and, um, other useless crap Blakk Frogg has posted on this site over the years.... ENJOY!

  • Americas-Best.Com Main Page
  • Da' MySpace Comments Blog

    Use these links to access (much) older pages from this site... if you're some kinda' retarded archeologist. Loser. ;)

  • Americas Best Pictures Pages
  • Older MySpace Comments Pages
  • Americas Best MySpace Board

    Main Page

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  • Volume 1
  •       Blakk Frogg Wear?

    cool clothes & more from Frogg!

    Blakk Frogg advances his sarcasm by digging deep in his beer-soaked brain for cool ideas so that you can tell the world to put a cock in it!

    blakk frogg: sarcastic for life
    blakk frogg is sarcastic for life

    Blakk Frogg heard you scream, "tie me up tight & wear me out" before you had to pick your speed 'cuz you were ready to screw a texas tart at the end of a cheap date... Hopefully ya' did-r-good!

    Check out the cool gear
    at the
    Blakk Frogg Store

          New year, new attitude?

    You don't have to wait!

    Far be it from me to knock all the dreams and aspirations of the masses to lose weight, make more money, find new love, rejuvenate an old love or simply make it to the next new year.

    All I'm saying is that since we would all like to improve ourselves and make progress in our lives, why do we wait for January 1st to make a flimsy resolution that in all honesty, we probably won't keep?

    Take action and make strides towards a better you each and every day of the year, not just on January 1st. Not only will things get better, they'll get better faster.

          Suck my archives?

    Yes, and swallow, too!

    Never thought I'd get enough feedback to keep me going, but I have, and apparently you people LIKE the abuse I dish out!

  • americas-best.com: another blakk frogg production
          Making liquid refreshment more useful?
    Chalk one up for mankind... and ladies get ready!

    Pfizer Corp is making the announcement today that VIAGRA will soon be available in liquid form and will be marketed by Pepsi Cola as a power beverage suitable for use "as is", or as a mixer. Pepsi's proposed ad campaign claims: "It will now be possible for a man to literally pour himself a stiff one."

    Obviously they can no longer call this a "soft drink." This additive gives new meaning to the names of cocktails, highballs and just a good old fashioned stiff drink. Pepsi will market the new concoction by the name of "Mount And Do".

    - from email

          Blakk Frogg is addicted to oxygen?

    Gimme' another hit, man... I'm turning GREEN!

    Many of my readers smoke cigarettes. I have no problem with your habit. I do have a problem with the WAY you enjoy your habit and would like to make the following requests of you if you smoke in my presence:

    • When you light up, wait until after I and every other non-smoker has finished eating. Nothing ruins the taste of a good meal like the smell of burning paper and ash.
    • Don't leave cigarettes burning in the ashtray while you talk forever about this and that. If you wanna' smoke, then smoke. If you wanna' talk, then talk. Just don't try to do both at the same time. And while on the subject, don't talk to me while a cigarette dangles from the corner of your mouth.
    • Don't hold your cigarette as far away from you because you don't like getting smoke in your face. Um, hellllllo? You smoke. You like the smoke, remember? AND you are the reason for it being there in the first place! Deal with it!
    • On those nice summer days when I've got the windows down and fresh air blowing through, please don't throw lit cigarettes out the window while at a stoplight. Those damn things roll under my car and ruin the air flowing into my car. I hate that.

    That's all for now. If I think of any others, rest assured they will appear right here on Americas-Best.Com.

          Distinct reasons why it's good to be a man?

    You can thank the makers of Viagra for making the list so long!

    Damn, it's great to be a man!

    • Your last name stays put.
    • The garage is all yours.
    • Wedding plans take care of themselves.
    • Chocolate is just another snack.
    • You can be president.
    • You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
    • Car mechanics tell you the truth.
    • You don't give a rat's ass if someone notices your new haircut.
    • The world is your urinal.
    • You never have to drive to another gas station because this one's just too icky.
    • Same work...more pay.
    • Wrinkles add character.
    • Wedding Dress $5,000; Tux rental $100.
    • People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.
    • The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.
    • New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
    • One mood, ALL the damn time.
    • Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
    • You know stuff about tanks.
    • Five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
    • You can open all your own jars.
    • Dry cleaners and hair stylists don't rob you blind.
    • You can kill your own food.
    • You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
    • If someone forgets to invite you to something, he or she can still be your friend.
    • Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.
    • If you are 34 and single, nobody notices.
    • You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger's seat.
    • Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
    • You don't have to clean your apartment if the maid is coming.
    • You can quietly watch a game with a buddy for hours without thinking "He must be mad at me."
    • You don't mooch off other's desserts.
    • You can drop by to see a friend without having to bring a little gift.
    • You are not expected to know the names of more than five colors.
    • You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
    • You almost never have strap problems in public.
    • You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
    • The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
    • You don't have to shave below your neck.
    • Your belly usually hides your big hips.
    • One wallet and one pair of shoes, one color, all seasons.
    • You can do your nails with a pocketknife.
    • You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
    • You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives, on December 24th, in 45 minutes.

    - from email

          How can you get back at a man whose behaving badly?

    PLEASE do not try this at home! I'm begging you

    get back at a man (980 KB file)

     

    - thanks for reading Volume Seventeen -