blakk frogg
Check out the cool gear
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      Americas Best What?

jokes, funny pics, & ... your mama!

Use these links to access all the jokes, pics, sarcasm and, um, other useless crap Blakk Frogg has posted on this site over the years.... ENJOY!

  • Americas-Best.Com Main Page
  • Da' MySpace Comments Blog

    Use these links to access (much) older pages from this site... if you're some kinda' retarded archeologist. Loser. ;)

  • Americas Best Pictures Pages
  • Older MySpace Comments Pages
  • Americas Best MySpace Board

    Main Page

  • Volume 103
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  • Myspace Codes

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  • Volume 10
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  • Volume 4
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  • Volume 2
  • Volume 1
  •       Blakk Frogg Wear?

    cool clothes & more from Frogg!

    Blakk Frogg advances his sarcasm by digging deep in his beer-soaked brain for cool ideas so that you can tell the world to put a cock in it!

    blakk frogg: sarcastic for life
    blakk frogg is sarcastic for life

    Blakk Frogg heard you scream, "tie me up tight & wear me out" before you had to pick your speed 'cuz you were ready to screw a texas tart at the end of a cheap date... Hopefully ya' did-r-good!

    Check out the cool gear
    at the
    Blakk Frogg Store

          Whoa! What was that?

    It was me, you blind ass twit!

    Those of you who ride motorcycles will understand this column and the rest of you need to read and memorize it.

    I just recently got my motorcycle back on the road and already I've got some more great near-collision experiences to haunt my dreams.

    With the wind in my face and an impatient minivan driver up my ass, I'm on my way to work.

    Stopped at a redlight, a lit cigarette butt lands by my feet. Obviously it's owner no longer wanted it and felt I ought to have it. Too bad I don't smoke, right?

    From that same light I pull off from the line at a normal pace and the car in the opposing lane darts forward and begins to turn left -- a path which would take the vehicle directly through me and my lovely motorcycle. They stop and wave me on as if doing me a favor.

    I'd like to thank the gentleman with VT plates for a real thrill this morning. The excitement of owning a motorcycle is definitely heightened by the rush one gets when the vehicle in front of them slams on its brakes to make an emergency turn.

    Having survived all those things on today's peaceful ride to work, here's the one that put the feather my cap:

    A sales droid yapping away on the phone as she careens through the parking lot looking for a parking spot... or to run me over. Whichever comes first.

    Have a nice day, everyone... and if you're looking for me, I'm the guy on the red & black motorcycle looking to get out of your way.

          Trivia isn't always trivial?

    Look, listen and learn!

  • Mosquito repellents don't repel. They hide you. The spray blocks the Mosquito's senses so they don't know you're there.

  • Dentists have recommended that a toothbrush be kept at least 6 feet away from a toilet to avoid airborne particles resulting from the flush.

  • The liquid inside young coconuts can be used as substitute for blood plasma.

  • No piece of paper can be folded in half more than 7 times.

  • Donkeys kill more people annually than plane crashes.

  • You burn more calories sleeping than you do watching television.

  • Oak trees do not produce acorns until they are fifty years of age or older.

  • The first product to have a bar code was Wrigley's gum.

  • The king of hearts is the only king without a moustache.

  • A Boeing 747's wingspan is longer than the Wright Brothers first flight.

  • Venus is the only planet that rotates clockwise.

  • Apples, not caffeine, are more efficient at waking you up in the morning.

  • The plastic things on the end of shoelaces are called aglets.

  • Most dust particles in your house are made from dead skin.

  • The first owner of the Marlboro Company died of lung cancer.

  • Barbie's full name is Barbara Millicent Roberts.

  • Michael Jordan makes more money from Nike annually than all of the Nike factory workers in Malaysia combined.

  • Marilyn Monroe had six toes.

  • All US Presidents have worn glasses. Some just didn't like being seen wearing them in public.

  • Walt Disney was afraid of mice.

  • Pearls dissolve in vinegar.

  • Thirty-five percent of the people who use personal ads for dating are already married.

  • It is possible to lead a cow upstairs...but not downstairs.

  • A duck's quack doesn't echo and no one knows why.

  • The reason firehouses had circular stairways is from the days when the engines were pulled by horses. The horses were stabled on the ground floor and figured out how to walk up straight staircases.

  • Richard Millhouse Nixon was the first US president whose name contains all the letters from the word "criminal." The second? - William Jefferson Clinton.

  • Turtles can breathe through their butts.

    - from email
  • americas-best.com: another blakk frogg production
          Tenth edition, ya' heard? For real? No diggity?
    Ebonics isn't a foreign language, yo!

    phone around the corner

    I miss you. What re you wearing? A/S/L?!? Please come back to me. I cannot live without... huh? oops. Wrong window.

    I'm now up to 10 editions of this damn publication and no one has threatened to kill me if I write another one. This is lame. What ever happened to the stifling of free speech and all that good stuff?

    Hmmm.... Maybe this is another one of those Blakk things. Perhaps we ought to get some desperate loser without a thesis in grad school to study this phenomenon and publish his/her results. That way Blakk Frogg can become famous without having to do a damn thing.

          Are you willing to lend a hand during their time of need?

    Take out a second mortgage on your grandchildren so athletes can eat!

    Since September 11, 2001, Americans have come together as never before in our generation. We have banded together to overcome tremendous adversity. We have weathered direct attacks on our own soil, wars overseas, corporatescandal, layoffs, unemployment, stock price plunges, droughts, fires, and a myriad of economic and physical disasters both great and small. But now, we must come together once again to overcome our greatest challenge yet.

    water on the road? really? Hundreds of Major League Baseball players in our very own nation are living at, just below, or in most cases far above the seven-figure salary level. And as if that weren't bad enough they could be deprived of their life giving pay for several months, possibly longer, as a result of the upcoming strike situation. But you can help!

    For only $20,835 a month, about $694.50 a day (that's less than the cost of a large screen projection TV) you can help a MLB player remain economically viable during his time of need. This contribution by no means solves the problem as it barely covers the annual minimum salary, but it's a start, and every little bit will help!

    Although $700 may not seem like a lot of money to you, to a baseball player it could mean the difference between spending the strike golfing in Florida or on a Mediterranean cruise. For you, seven hundred dollars is nothing more than a month's rent, half a mortgage payment, two unemployment checks, or a month of medical insurance with COBRA, but to a baseball player, $700 will partially replace his daily salary.

    Your commitment of less than $700 a day will enable a player to buy that home entertainment center, trade in the year old Lexus for a new Ferrari, or enjoy a weekend in Rio.

    HOW WILL I KNOW I'M HELPING?

    Each month, you will receive a complete financial report on the player you sponsor. Detailed information about his stocks, bonds, 401(k), real estate, and other investment holdings will be mailed to your home. Plus, upon signing up for this program, you will receive an unsigned photo of the player lounging during the strike on a beach somewhere in the Caribbean (for a signed photo, please include an additional $150). Put the photo on your refrigerator to remind you of other peoples' suffering.

    HOW WILL HE KNOW I'M HELPING?

    Your MLB player will be told that he has a SPECIAL FRIEND who just wants to help in a time of need. Although the player won't know your name, he will be able to make collect calls to your home via a special operator in case additional funds are needed for unforeseen expenses.

    YES, I WANT TO HELP! I would like to sponsor a striking MLB player. My preference is checked below:

      [ ] Infielder
      [ ] Outfielder
      [ ] Starting Pitcher
      [ ] Ace Pitcher [ ]
      [ ] Entire team (Please call our 900 number to ask for the cost of a specific team - $10 per minute)
      [ ] Alex Rodriguez (Higher cost: $60,000 per day)

    Please charge the account listed below $694.50 per day for the player for the duration of the strike. Please send me a picture of the player I have sponsored, along with an Alex Rodriguez 2001 Income Statement and my very own Donald Fehr MLB Players Union pin to wear proudly on my hat (include $80 for hat).

      Your Name: _______________________
      Telephone Number: ____________________
      Account Number: _____________________  Exp.Date:_______
      [ ] MasterCard   [ ] Visa   [ ] American Express   [ ] Discover
      Signature: _______________________

      Alternate card (when the primary card exceeds its credit limit):
      Account Number: _____________________  Exp.Date:_______
      [ ] MasterCard   [ ] Visa   [ ] American Express   [ ] Discover
      Signature: _______________________

    Mail completed form to MLB Players Union or call 1-900-SCREW-THE-FANS now to enroll by phone ($10 per minute).

    Disclaimer: Sponsors are not permitted to contact the player they have sponsored, either in person or by other means including, but not limited to, telephone calls, letters, e-mail, or third parties. Contributions are not tax-deductible.

    - from email

          Crime has a new enemy to watch out for?

    Only if these two have been eating at Taco Bell recently!

    I've seen a lot of these pictures in recent years and typically just ignore them but this one really got to me. For years to come this poor boy is going to be called shithead -- and for very good reason, too.

    skidmark super heros

          What makes Blakk Frogg the Frogg he is today?

    Years and years of answering stupid questions like this one!

    Time waits for no Frogg and neither does the bus. Therefore, as a child, I sometimes wound up walking to school. It was either that or go back home and get my ass kicked for missing the bus. No thanks. I'll walk.

    On those walks I had time to reflect on all the things that I had done wrong recently. More or less I tallied up the misdeeds and wondered if I'd hit the infamous "you're in trouble now, mister" level. Everyone knows that level. It's the one right before the "my ass is sore and the spanking's not over yet" stage.

    Invariably I concluded that the current missing of the bus put me over the top so I then set about conjuring up some sort of reason explaining WHY I missed the bus. I never did come up with a good reason. My parents were going to tell me I spent too much time goofing off no matter what so I accepted that fact and kept walking.

    The route I took was, in my opinion, the wisest one and the most direct. A straight line from point A, the bus stop of missed opportunity, to point B, the school I'd normally be sitting in if I hadn't missed the bus.

    Logical, right? Take the path that will take the shortest amount of time. Naturally. And for thinking of this path I was always proud of myself... until one day when the path I chose corresponded with the path my mother chose on her way back from the store.

    Yep. You guessed it. I got to the "my ass is sore and the spanking's not over yet" stage in a hurry.

          The real reason why Montezuma's Revenge happens?

    If you hire from the bottom of the barrel, the food will be great!

    now hiring all shits

          Adult industry ruined my life?

    Yes! And I'll be back for more as soon as I sell more of my blood!

    Some people say the adult industry breaks up relationships and causes people to do things like cheat on their signifigant other and/or get divorces. I say that's a big steaming pile of horse shit.

    Ther adult industry does NOT cause those things to happen. Instead, I believe the adult industry temporarily prevents those things from happening and that infidelity and divorce occur as a result of a lack of adult activity between the parties in relationships.

    If people would drop all the false pretenses and nonsense they toss around they'd get laid a little more often. If that happened, the adult industry would suffer, the divorce rate would drop and so would the number of adulterous encounters.

    Maybe I'm wrong, but I don't think so and here's why: When was the last time you heard of a sexually satisfied couple breaking up? Two exhausted, sweaty, post-orgasm people lying in bed seldom have much to argue about. ;)

          Why was volume ten was released in record time?

    If I told you, I'd have to kill you with a can of bug spray!

    It's been a long time since I rubbed anyone out with a can of bug spray... Oh, such happy memories. Toxic mist clogging their lungs as faint images of black flags form in their eyes. Makes me wanna' cry almost.

    Enough of that. I published a new edition because I didn't feel like working on the stuff I get paid to work on. It's Monday. I never feel like working on that stupid shit on Monday.

    So, in closing, watch out for me or I'll take you out with a can of bug spray.

          Where was I last night?

    My local newspaper knows!

    My lovely girlfriend of more than three years sent me this text the other morning and asked me where I'd been the night before...

    "Cohoes police are searching for a robber armed with a beer bottle. Police say a man used it Monday to threaten a clerk at the US Food Mart on Garner St. Police say he confronted the female clerk, slammed her face into the counter and grabbed $200 before driving off in a dark green Chrysler. If you have any information, please call the police."

    I responded by telling her that I was busy making love to my other girlfriend at the time so it couldn't have been me.

    Consequently, she slapped thetaste out of my mouth when I got home later that evening. I'm so confused.

     

    - thanks for reading Volume Ten -