Americas Best What?
Use these links to access all the jokes, pics, sarcasm and, um, other useless crap Blakk Frogg has posted on this site over the years.... ENJOY!
Use these links to access (much) older pages from this site... if you're some kinda' retarded archeologist. Loser. ;)
Blakk Frogg Wear?
You've entered Hell and you can't get the burger OR fries!
I, Blakk Frogg, spend so much time online and find so many stupid things, useless sites, ridiculous stories, etc., etc. that I feel obligated to share them with those of you not lucky(?!?!) enough to sit by a computer all day.
- Blakk Frogg
Horrible golfing injury?
A couple of women were playing golf one sunny Saturday morning. The first of the twosome teed off and watched in horror as her ball headed directly toward a foursome of men playing the next hole.
The ball hit one of the men, and he immediately clasped his hands together at his groin, fell to the ground and proceeded to roll around in evident agony.
The woman rushed down to the man and immediately began to apologize. "Please allow me to help. I'm a physical therapist and I know I could relieve your pain if you'd allow me," she told him earnestly.
"Ummph, oooh, nnooo, I'll be alright. I'll be fine in a few minutes," he replied breathlessly as he remained in the fetal position still clasping his hands together in his groin.
But she persisted, and he finally allowed her to help him. She gently took his hands away and laid them to the side, she loosened his pants, and she put her hands inside. She began to massage him.
She then asked him "How does that feel?" He replied "It feels great, but my thumb still hurts like hell."
A 'virus warning' from the email files of Blakk Frogg?
THE GEORGE BUSH -- Causes your computer to think it won the election, even though the mother-board and father-board bought it.
THE AL GORE -- Causes your computer to just keep counting.
THE CLINTON -- Gives you a 7-Inch Hard Drive with NO memory.
THE BOB DOLE (AKA: VIAGRA) -- Makes a new hard drive out of an old floppy.
THE LEWINSKY -- Sucks all the memory out of your computer, then emails everyone about what it did.
THE RONALD REAGAN -- Saves your data, but forgets where it is stored.
THE JESSE JACKSON -- Warns you constantly about illegitimate file reproduction, while illegitimately reproducing files in the background.
THE MIKE TYSON -- Quits after two bytes.
THE OPRAH WINFREY -- Your 300 mb hard drive shrinks to 100 mb, then slowly expands to re-stabilize around 200mb.
THE JACK KEVORKIAN -- Deletes all old files.
THE PROZAC -- Totally screws up your RAM, but your processor doesn't care.
THE JOEY BUTTAFUOCO -- Only attacks minor files.
THE ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER -- Terminates some files, leaves, but will be back.
THE LORENA BOBBITT -- Reformats your hard drive into a 3.5 inch floppy, then discards it through Windows.
- thanks for reading Volume One -